My 18 year old daughter is studying a BTEC in Performing Arts at college. She was recently asked to come and give her personal input to a level 4 Performing Arts group who are devising a piece around the impact on children of imprisoning parents. She is an intelligent and articulate girl, who willingly answered their questions. But I don't think this group of actors was really prepared for the reality of what she had to tell them.....
On November 2nd 2009 my house was raided. It was the above daughter's first day at a new school, aged just 11. She had lost her place at The Arts Educational School due to a corrupt head and the withdrawal of promised bursary funding (she wasn't the only pupil who had to leave due to Buster, the headmaster's, promises). Our house was raided by a van load of DWP investigators accompanied by a minibus filled with police officers. When I answered the door, at 7.45am on a Monday morning, I was greeted with the comment "Weren't you expecting us?"
I had seven children at home that morning. One has autism, one has Aspergers/HFA, one has a sensory disorder and one has a hearing impairment and developmental dyspraxia. The youngest two were just aged four and five....... The DWP had been investigating me for six months at this point and were fully aware of the ages of my children and of their disabilities. (although refusing to believe in their diagnosed disorders at this point due to their ability to perform, preferring to believe I had a benefit claim factory going on in my home!). This raid was unnecessary, vindictively planned and downright evil.
The effect of a full-on police raid on my children is still evident today.....
My children cannot answer the door, they won't answer the phone. They won't talk to authority. They are petrified if they see a police car. They absolutely detest the DWP. They cannot trust the police, the judicial system, judges, the court process. My older daughter has such severe anxiety now that she cannot deal with the simplest problem. A highly intelligent 24 year old who struggles to function. All caused by thoughtless DWP staff who had a political and senseless vendetta against a parent of disabled children; children with disabilities that they did not have the intelligence needed to understand!
When my 18 year old daughter talked to the level 4 drama group she explained how it felt to her. " All I could think was; have I left my dirty knickers on my bedroom floor". The raid was filmed. DWP officers are not allowed to search, that's why they brought the police along. To be honest, the police officers appeared seriously unimpressed with the whole thing. They tutted and sighed and were impatient with the DWP, who in contrast revelled in their search making bitchy comments throughout.
"Look, she said her children won't have labels in their clothes and yet she is sewing name tags in her daughter's uniform!".
Sadly, the gormless DWP officers cannot tell the difference between a flappy label on an item of clothing (nightmare to a highly sensitive ASD child) and a fully sewn in flush name tag!! (don't forget it was my daughter's first day at a new and frightening school, and the name tags and uniform were left out from the nght before).
Before the search happened I was arrested and taken to a police station. My older daughter, then aged 18, was left to bear the responsibility of her siblings and the DWP's appalling behaviour. She followed them through the house, calming her siblings and questioning their search. The children were asked to line up and state their names. My beautiful autistic eldest son drew his fists and was calmed by his siblings. If we discuss it, to this day, he starts to rage. The night before the raid he had been really difficult (he was 15) and I had removed his laptop so that he would go to bed. As this laptop was on my bed the following morning, the DWP took it!! It had all his GCSE work on it and they refused to return it for 6 weeks. Imagine the stress for any 15 year old..... but for one who is autistic and struggling so much in life this was a deathly blow.
So, the effect on my children? I cannot even begin to quantify. For us this raid was totally unnecessary. It gained nothing for the DWP. After the raid followed nearly four years of questioning and court appearances, during which time we all fell apart.
When I was convicted my children were the ones who suffered. Despite a guilty conviction my children did not lose their issues or disabilities. And so, that same older sister had responsibility for six younger siblings, with all their issues, for two years. There is no support, the only time there was a wiff of interest from Children's Services was when they decided there may be a Child Protection issue. This was swiftly dismissed and no support was ever offered to my wonderful, amazing and different seven siblings while I was incarcerated.
It has now been eight months since I left prison. My children have anxieties and insecurities. The daughter who was due to start her new school the day we were raided became crippled by a chronic anxiety disorder. She never settled in that new school. She then became a school refuser, diagnosed with ME (which was more likely, looking back, to have been anxiety and depression) and eventually moved to another senior school which she attended sporadically. She is still affected on a daily basis. She struggles to attend college. She struggles with any unfairness. She struggles with trust. This will stay with her for the rest of her life. Watching a parent sent to prison, unfairly and vindictively, is something I guess one cannot get over.
Her nearest brother (Aspergers/HFA) had just won a full scholarship to one of the country's best private schools when I was sent down. He attended the school for two years, but with his Aspergers, no support, and no parent around, he really struggled to achieve. Instead of leaving with the expected four A* A Level results and to go to a top university, he is now doing a third year of sixth form college locally.
My eldest autistic son had been on a musical theatre degree course. I am, and have always been, his complete support network, and, as such, worked really hard to get him through his education. When I was sent away he started to fail as I was no longer there to help him 24/7, and he ended up completely failing his course. What a waste..... absolutely heart wrenching to think that a judge could think it was the right thing to send his only support to prison, leaving him now reliant on the benefit system....
My 15 year old son with hearing difficulties and various other issues was almost 13, very reliant on me, his mum, and then suddenly he had nobody. He struggles today to leave my side. He needs reassurance constantly that I am going nowhere. He had special needs all his life and the two years of forced separation caused him so much pain and distress; he is rarely more than a few feet away today.
The two babies (7 and 9 when I went away) were obviously affected by losing their mum. As a single parent I was their constant, their support, their bedtime story, their cook, their walk to school, their everything. I dropped them at school one morning and never came home.
Although I had visits in prison, these are really difficult and traumatic for children. Visits are never guaranteed; they are short and the parent cannot move from a red chair. Children cannot bring in a book or homework. The prisoner cannot take artwork back with them.
Luckily, after 8 months inside, I was able to access the ROTL (release on temporary licence) system which meant I could visit home during my time in prison. ROTL also enabled me to go out to work, but the right wing government and Daily Mail readers are trying to stop this vital gift. (see previous blog on ROTL: http://outofsync8.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/media-manipulation-rotl-reality.html) At least while I was out I could use my phone to contact my children. But this didn't change the massive effect on my children of losing their mother.
This was my first conviction (for a crime I did not commit) and I was assessed as very low risk. There was no reason for me to be sent to prison. The judge was given reports on the vulnerability of my children but refused to believe these reports from professional psychiatrists.
My children will never recover from the raid, the four years following when their mother was a wreck and the two years we were separated while I was in prison.
So, this week I have been asked to watch the Level 4 performance, based around our story and the effect that imprisoning a parent has on children. This discussion will go on and on. Of course you cannot use having children as a reason not to imprison a serious offender. But, to cause children to have serious mental health issues, to cause children to be adopted, to cause whole families to break up forever, to cause the government to financially support families..... is this the right way to go? Does this mean the best use of resources? Does this mean the best way to rehabilitate? Who are the ones who are incarcerated...inmates or their infants? Who is affected the most by prison?
If you want the answers to the above....... ask my children.
Monday, 11 January 2016
Wednesday, 23 December 2015
Contented Christmas Chaos!
So my first Christmas as a free women is here!
I send my love to all the ladies who are spending Christmas away from their families at Her Majesty's Pleasure. In particular my thoughts are with my lovely friend who used to ring me in the middle of the night from the end of her garden, who has now been recalled (please see previous blogs) and also Joanne Dennehy who has a lifetime in jail ahead of her.
My Probation officer told me last week that hardly any of her clients have been allowed Christmas ROTL this year. This is incredibly sad and my hope for 2016 is an intelligent and informed reform of the prison system to enable rehabilitation and not just punishment.
My Christmas involves my eight children, my Scottish friend (see previous blogs), my 18 year old daughter's boyfriend, my ex husband who has sadly had a stroke aged 45 and my involvement at the local church - tomorrow we have two crib services which I am playing for.
Happy Christmas to all who read my blog and all the best for 2016!
Thank you all for you support
I send my love to all the ladies who are spending Christmas away from their families at Her Majesty's Pleasure. In particular my thoughts are with my lovely friend who used to ring me in the middle of the night from the end of her garden, who has now been recalled (please see previous blogs) and also Joanne Dennehy who has a lifetime in jail ahead of her.
My Probation officer told me last week that hardly any of her clients have been allowed Christmas ROTL this year. This is incredibly sad and my hope for 2016 is an intelligent and informed reform of the prison system to enable rehabilitation and not just punishment.
My Christmas involves my eight children, my Scottish friend (see previous blogs), my 18 year old daughter's boyfriend, my ex husband who has sadly had a stroke aged 45 and my involvement at the local church - tomorrow we have two crib services which I am playing for.
Happy Christmas to all who read my blog and all the best for 2016!
Thank you all for you support
Open Letter to my Daughter
February 10th 1990, when you were born, was completely and utterly the best day of my life. I had waited for you for nearly four years, four years of being desperate for a baby, desperate for you - that perfect being who I could give all that unwanted love to.
I was just 20 years old when you were born. I didn't realise it then, but I was a very fragile and damaged 20 year old. I now know I have attachment disorder caused by my turbulent, abusive childhood. However, at that time I thought I was invincible. Bringing you up to have everything I didn't have was my most important desire.
Loving you was easy. You were loved and adored and wanted every minute of every day, both by me and by your dad. Night after night you had colic and we paced the floor for hours and hours, cleaned up the vomit, and calmed your screams.
Once the colic was over we had your food refusal issues to deal with, and your UTIs. You seemed to always have something going on. You were labelled a "failure to thrive" baby and after scans and investigations we were told you had urinary reflux which meant daily antibiotics for the next two years, something you fought against with every single dose.
At a year old you became very ill with pneumonia and were hospitalised. You forgot how to walk and had to be fed through an NG tube. But, being the bolshie child we knew, a few days later you pulled your tube out and started to get better.
Your sister was born when you were 15 months old and boy were you unimpressed! You were so important to me and so totally loved that I was scared I would not have room to love your sister. I couldn't believe I could possibly manage the strength of feeling I had for you and also feel that way about another child. But I did, and also for the next six siblings!
Your childhood was not easy, not for you and also not for me and your siblings. You were an astounding and amazing child. Highly intelligent, you were my mini me. With a thirst for knowledge and hyperlexic I was so proud of you. Getting you the right education was an issue right from the beginning. You struggled to fit in and, although a high-flyer academically you had so many problems with other people. We tried so many different schools. Looking back, with a different background and family support I may have made different decisions, may have let you struggle in one environment in the hope you would succeed. But, being so young with no support, and determined to give you the best, I tried and tried to place you somewhere you would be happy. Your happiness was my number one thought throughout your childhood.
Skipping forward to December 2015... you are my only child who really struggles with my two years in prison. Although you have never spoken to me about it, your black and white thought processes mean you think I am at fault. It's ironic really, your claim was the one I was found not guilty of....
You were diagnosed with Aspergers when you were 10. You were very unhappy then; it must have been so difficult to deal with being so different and not understanding why. You were bullied at every school; it didn't seem to matter how lovely the school.... I failed to ensure you didn't suffer. It broke my heart when other children picked on you because you were different. Schools hated me because I stood up for you, because I complained about their staff, because I refused to allow you to be unhappy.
Yet, despite the suffering, school changes and depression, you managed to achieve academically and won a place at the flagship University of Warwick. I am so proud of all you achieved. In the first term you were desperate to come home, struggling to cope. But you had good support from the Uni Disability team, and then you met your first boyfriend which made a huge difference to your coping ability. Although you and he have parted now, he was there to support you when you really couldn't cope.
I haven't seen you for over two years. I wrote to you from the holiday camp and you didn't reply. I texted you when your dad had a stroke last month and you didn't reply. You stay in touch with your siblings and you are very vocal with them about your opinion of me. But, despite your amazing journalistic abilities you have been unable to articulate your opinions to me.
I probably confuse you. I, after all, have had two years to analyse and evaluate myself. I have come to terms with all my shortfalls. I have learnt about human behaviours and character faults. I have become calmer, more accepting, less judgemental. I have been able to investigate my childhood issues and look at how that abuse has affected me.
You have a very specific and controlled persona, honed I am sure due to your need to be successful, liked, wanted and capable: all of which you are.
I am really struggling. You are spending Christmas with me, with us, with your family. Yet you are offering me cold politeness. I can't fault it, I can't state you are being openly rude or offensive. Yet your cold arrogance is chilling and hurtful. Your siblings deserve better and I deserve better. I am your mother, I brought you into this world, loved you , cared for you, supported you, gave you absolutely everything I could. I am human. I have faults and make mistakes. But so do you......
I love you.
I was just 20 years old when you were born. I didn't realise it then, but I was a very fragile and damaged 20 year old. I now know I have attachment disorder caused by my turbulent, abusive childhood. However, at that time I thought I was invincible. Bringing you up to have everything I didn't have was my most important desire.
Loving you was easy. You were loved and adored and wanted every minute of every day, both by me and by your dad. Night after night you had colic and we paced the floor for hours and hours, cleaned up the vomit, and calmed your screams.
Once the colic was over we had your food refusal issues to deal with, and your UTIs. You seemed to always have something going on. You were labelled a "failure to thrive" baby and after scans and investigations we were told you had urinary reflux which meant daily antibiotics for the next two years, something you fought against with every single dose.
At a year old you became very ill with pneumonia and were hospitalised. You forgot how to walk and had to be fed through an NG tube. But, being the bolshie child we knew, a few days later you pulled your tube out and started to get better.
Your sister was born when you were 15 months old and boy were you unimpressed! You were so important to me and so totally loved that I was scared I would not have room to love your sister. I couldn't believe I could possibly manage the strength of feeling I had for you and also feel that way about another child. But I did, and also for the next six siblings!
Your childhood was not easy, not for you and also not for me and your siblings. You were an astounding and amazing child. Highly intelligent, you were my mini me. With a thirst for knowledge and hyperlexic I was so proud of you. Getting you the right education was an issue right from the beginning. You struggled to fit in and, although a high-flyer academically you had so many problems with other people. We tried so many different schools. Looking back, with a different background and family support I may have made different decisions, may have let you struggle in one environment in the hope you would succeed. But, being so young with no support, and determined to give you the best, I tried and tried to place you somewhere you would be happy. Your happiness was my number one thought throughout your childhood.
Skipping forward to December 2015... you are my only child who really struggles with my two years in prison. Although you have never spoken to me about it, your black and white thought processes mean you think I am at fault. It's ironic really, your claim was the one I was found not guilty of....
You were diagnosed with Aspergers when you were 10. You were very unhappy then; it must have been so difficult to deal with being so different and not understanding why. You were bullied at every school; it didn't seem to matter how lovely the school.... I failed to ensure you didn't suffer. It broke my heart when other children picked on you because you were different. Schools hated me because I stood up for you, because I complained about their staff, because I refused to allow you to be unhappy.
Yet, despite the suffering, school changes and depression, you managed to achieve academically and won a place at the flagship University of Warwick. I am so proud of all you achieved. In the first term you were desperate to come home, struggling to cope. But you had good support from the Uni Disability team, and then you met your first boyfriend which made a huge difference to your coping ability. Although you and he have parted now, he was there to support you when you really couldn't cope.
I haven't seen you for over two years. I wrote to you from the holiday camp and you didn't reply. I texted you when your dad had a stroke last month and you didn't reply. You stay in touch with your siblings and you are very vocal with them about your opinion of me. But, despite your amazing journalistic abilities you have been unable to articulate your opinions to me.
I probably confuse you. I, after all, have had two years to analyse and evaluate myself. I have come to terms with all my shortfalls. I have learnt about human behaviours and character faults. I have become calmer, more accepting, less judgemental. I have been able to investigate my childhood issues and look at how that abuse has affected me.
You have a very specific and controlled persona, honed I am sure due to your need to be successful, liked, wanted and capable: all of which you are.
I am really struggling. You are spending Christmas with me, with us, with your family. Yet you are offering me cold politeness. I can't fault it, I can't state you are being openly rude or offensive. Yet your cold arrogance is chilling and hurtful. Your siblings deserve better and I deserve better. I am your mother, I brought you into this world, loved you , cared for you, supported you, gave you absolutely everything I could. I am human. I have faults and make mistakes. But so do you......
I love you.
Thursday, 3 December 2015
MEDIA MANIPULATION & ROTL REALITY
"Up to 100 killers serving life in prison allowed HOME for Christmas"
screamed the headlines in The Daily Express this week. A pretty typical offering from the right wing tabloid press in the lead up to the holiday season. The article went on to express scaremongering fear that murderers, rapists and repeat violent offenders are among those to be released on temporary licence and carelessly and freely being given the enjoyment of a Christmas with their families.
Before I knew the joy of being detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure I knew absolutely nothing about prison. I had never known anyone in prison. I had never visited a prison. I did not understand how prison sentences work, how much time is served, what parole is, what an IPP prisoner is or what ROTL is. But, being an intelligent and mature individual, I had also never judged another person for becoming a prisoner. I had, of course, seen vitriolic articles in tabloid papers condemning and judging all those convicted and then sentenced to time inside. But my opinion is not easily swayed, as I am all too aware of political and social bias and the clever use of the written word! I like to look carefully into everything I hear, see or read about in this life for myself, and I analyse and evaluate, look at evidence, and try to come to a compassionate, but intelligent, conclusion.
So let's look at the facts:
ROTL or release on temporary licence is on offer to ALL prisoners. Each person has to meet the published criteria in order to be considered for ROTL. An application has to be made, and reports are drawn up from wing staff, Offender Managers within the prison, the Offender Supervisors on the outside (Probation Officers), the police and also agencies looking out for the victims of the crime. The prisoner then has to sit a ROTL board (imagine the hardest job interview you have ever faced crossed with judgement day...), and then sit and wait for the results.... This can all take months, and there are often knockbacks. Delays are common, especially when waiting for reports from outside probation.
Once (and if) ROTL is approved it does not get any easier!! The rules around ROTL are endless!! For a start you have to fight for the prison to agree and accept your full inventory of every minute of every hour you are away from the prison. This has to be written so accurately that the prison can contact you at any moment and know exactly where you should be and what you are doing. You cannot access any social media. You cannot have a mobile phone other than a basic one. You can only access the internet for rehabilitation purposes such as searching for employment or housing. You cannot drive. You cannot enter any licensed premises. ROTL is only approved if it fits in with your written sentence plan...and rightly so, as this is to ensure that ROTL is only used to aid rehabilitation and to prevent reoffending.
ROTL is also a gradually increasing release plan. It usually starts with supervised charity work or work just outside the prison grounds. This then builds up to Resettlement Day Release (RDR) for rebuilding and maintaining family ties, which may only be approved and allowed to happen within the local area and then may eventually be allowed for a few hours at the home address. Finally there is Resettlement Overnight Release (ROR) which is also a gradually increasing ROTL, often starting with only one night away. And this is after the prisoner has proved themselves trustworthy on RDR for work over a long period of time! ROR is now only accessible for the last nine months of a sentence, another reduction put in place by the thankfully long-gone Chris Grayling.
I met many lifers in my time in the concentration camps. I mixed with the above mentioned murderers and repeat violent offenders, hated by the Daily Express amongst many others. I didn't mix with rapists, being in a women's prison it's rare, but I also mixed with sex offenders. As a mature, intelligent, politically aware, socially aware, streetwise and well worn middle aged woman and mother....... there was not one prisoner I met whom I would consider a risk if released on ROR for Christmas at the end of their sentence. Actually, not quite true! I spent a lot of time with Joanna Dennehy, currently serving a whole life sentence for three murders in 2013. She is not the person portrayed by the press at all, but still not someone who would ever be at the point of accessing ROTL. And, actually, on a whole life sentence she would never be eligible. You see the system in place to prepare a prisoner, especially a lifer, for possible ROTL is very robust. Yes, there are a tiny number of ROTL failures, and obviously these are blown up in the press for all to see, but it is such an important and positive tool for use in rehabilitation that it must be allowed to continue and encouraged.
In 2012 there were 485,000 ROTL days for prisoners in England and Wales. The number of ROTL failures, where an offence occurred, was 0.005% of these, or about 24. (The Prison Governors’ Association) This is an incredibly low number and much lower than the re-offending rates of prisoners released straight into society.
It is easy to become emotionally swayed by the families of victims of crime. One cannot even begin to imagine the pain caused by the loss of a relative through murder. There can be no words to describe it. But, whatever we all think and believe as individuals, we have a criminal justice system that is bound by strict laws which were created and passed by the governments we elect. We must allow this system to do its job, and if a person convicted of a crime such as murder is given a set tariff, then that must be accepted by all as their punishment. Towards the end of that time each prisoner needs to become prepared for society and be allowed to gain, in some way, the skills needed to become a productive and crime free member of the community again. ROTL is a proven way to produce hard-working and resettled ex-offenders who can continue with a crime free life.
Something that I find very distressing is the opinion of many, especially the Daily Mail readers and many working in the Criminal Justice System, that once one offence is committed (or a conviction gained, despite an innocent plea) this automatically means the convicted person will always think or act like a criminal. I forgive the general public for believing the manipulated facts and biased reporting in the media, although I struggle to understand their naivety. But something seriously has to be done to educate our society about the human reality and stories behind the convictions.
At HMPs Bronzefield, Send and East Sutton Park I lived with women convicted of offences ranging from shoplifting, common assault, driving offences and minor fraud right along the spectrum of criminality to repeat grievous bodily harm, murder and child sex offences. I got to know many of these women very well, and indeed there is nothing you can hide from others in a female prison. We all had inside out knowledge of each other's crimes, stories, background and future hopes. Let me briefly tell you about some convicted murderers I know, just like those slated for getting ROTL at Christmas by the Daily Express and many of the general public. I have changed their names.
Julie was convicted of murder and sentenced to life with a tariff of 18 years. She was 19 years old with a young toddler when she was sentenced. Her daughter will be 20 by the time she is released (if she gets her parole). Julie had been through prolonged sexual abuse as a child and had an abusive partner. Before the crime was committed she was involved in a car crash, when she was heavily pregnant. She had to have her labour induced as the baby had been severely damaged by the crash. Her baby lived for a few days in the Neonatal intensive care unit then sadly passed away. Julie and her partner took many photos of the baby and suffered immense grief. At some point the camera, with the baby photos on it, was stolen by somebody they both knew. Unbeknownst to Julie, her partner went to confront the man who stole it. They got into a fight and the man sadly died. Julie was then forced by her partner to help him dispose of the man's body. She had absolutely no involvement in the murder, was not even there at the time, but was too afraid of being killed or hurt herself to refuse to help. Under joint enterprise laws she was convicted alongside him of murder and given an incredibly long sentence. She has appealed to all the courts available to her and struggles to address her "violent" offensive behaviour while in prison as she has none..... Julie was actually the person who reported the crime to the police.......
Sophie was a teenager who became enthralled with some older teens on her estate. A hard working college attender, who came from a loving supportive family, she was unfortunately quite easily led and was encouraged by the older girls to drink and hang around on the streets. One evening the group of teens decided to pick on a man who lived locally, believing some rumours about him. Sophie remained on the edges of the violent behaviour, but the man was hurt and many of the group were charged with GBH. Several months later he sadly died. Sophie was then charged with murder by joint enterprise and was convicted and sentenced to life with a tariff of 10 years. Sophie was only 17. She finished her education in a Young Offenders Institute and has spent all her growing up years in prison. She has shown no signs of any violent or offensive behaviour in prison. She is now 26 and in open prison accessing the ROTL system. For prisoners like Sophie ROTL is vital as she has not spent any time as an adult in society and is still very much a teenager.
Gillian was married for many years to an alcoholic. They lived in a first floor flat. One day they had a row and he went off to the pub to drink. When he came home Gillian told him to go and sleep it off and pushed him away from her with her hands on his chest. He drunkenly left the flat and Gillian went to bed. In the morning she found him dead at the bottom of the stairs up to the flat. Gillian immediately called the police and ambulance but it was too late. She loved her husband despite his alcohol issues and was distraught that he had died all alone. Gillian was convicted of his murder, despite no evidence or witnesses. She was sentenced to life with a 17 year tariff. Gillian, too, is struggling to address any offending behaviour as there is none.
For people like Gillan, Julie and Sophie there is very little achieved by such long prison sentences other than a harsh punishment for crimes that were beyond their control. These are just three examples of many similar stories I came across in the female estate. I did meet a very small number of women who had purposely and vindictively committed really horrendous crimes. For example the lady who stabbed her teenage children to death in their sleep, stabbing them 66 times in order to prevent her ex husband having access. She has a tariff of 33 years and truly deserves it. Also I met a gang of girls who imprisoned a young man with learning difficulties and tortured him for days. They too knew exactly what they were doing and deserve a harsh sentence.
But these women were few and far between. The women's estate is filled to the brim with our failures as a society. Our failure to support women with mental health needs, our failure to be there to help protect women with abusive partners, our failure to have robust addiction treatment programs, our failure to raise 'looked after' children successfully and on it goes.
Until we as a society accept our role in the past and future offending behaviour of members of our society, then we as a society have to stop judging and condemning those convicted of an offence.
There but for the grace of God..........
Sunday, 29 November 2015
Sodexo Prison Pawns
So my Scottish friend and I had an interesting experience this week!
I took my son, as always on a Thursday, to his National Theatre Stage Management course. The plan was for us to visit the Reform Exhibition at the Southbank while waiting for him!
http://www.koestlertrust.org.uk/pages/exhibitions.html
My Scottish friend. currently staying down here but still with no permanent decision, came along too!
When we arrived it was closed for a VIP event. Being very disappointed, and also struggling to know what we would spend three hours doing while son was teching, I decided to question what was happening, Spying the Sodexo name badges I was keen to discuss my own experiences at the hands of Sodexo! We ended up being invited into the VIP event by the CEO of Sodeo, Janine McDowell! She was very excited to have two ex-Bronzefield ladies at her event!!
It was an interesting experience! We met up with Simeon the chaplain, Caroline from education, Nathan one of the officers, the chief finance person, the guy who planned Bronzefield. We were approached by many as the token ex offenders!!
It was an enjoyable evening, with many opportunities to state all the issues faced by prisoners on a daily basis. To be honest both myself and my Scottish friend have very few issues with Bronzefield. The prison offers good work opportunities, good education, officers who treat people fairly, management who make use of prisoner skills and an excellent visitor experience with a family room.
We also met up with ex offenders who were tour operators for the exhibition, and it was lovely to find out later that a twitter friend had been one of the people we had met It wasn't great to watch Prison staff have a freebie on the back of prisoner art...... but I hope the Koestler trust continue their good work. I personally cannot draw or paint or sew to save my life! But I have seen first hand the good that Koestler offers to prisoners.
I bet we are the talk of Bronzefield this week!
I took my son, as always on a Thursday, to his National Theatre Stage Management course. The plan was for us to visit the Reform Exhibition at the Southbank while waiting for him!
http://www.koestlertrust.org.uk/pages/exhibitions.html
My Scottish friend. currently staying down here but still with no permanent decision, came along too!
When we arrived it was closed for a VIP event. Being very disappointed, and also struggling to know what we would spend three hours doing while son was teching, I decided to question what was happening, Spying the Sodexo name badges I was keen to discuss my own experiences at the hands of Sodexo! We ended up being invited into the VIP event by the CEO of Sodeo, Janine McDowell! She was very excited to have two ex-Bronzefield ladies at her event!!
It was an interesting experience! We met up with Simeon the chaplain, Caroline from education, Nathan one of the officers, the chief finance person, the guy who planned Bronzefield. We were approached by many as the token ex offenders!!
It was an enjoyable evening, with many opportunities to state all the issues faced by prisoners on a daily basis. To be honest both myself and my Scottish friend have very few issues with Bronzefield. The prison offers good work opportunities, good education, officers who treat people fairly, management who make use of prisoner skills and an excellent visitor experience with a family room.
We also met up with ex offenders who were tour operators for the exhibition, and it was lovely to find out later that a twitter friend had been one of the people we had met It wasn't great to watch Prison staff have a freebie on the back of prisoner art...... but I hope the Koestler trust continue their good work. I personally cannot draw or paint or sew to save my life! But I have seen first hand the good that Koestler offers to prisoners.
I bet we are the talk of Bronzefield this week!
Alan RIP; my big (little) brother I love you.
It's my brother Alan's birthday tomorrow. He was born in 1966, 3 years 11 months and 17 days before me!! Being a mathematical prodigee, as a child I always quoted these figures!
Sadly I am now older than him. Alan died in September 2008. He died in Darwin Australia, I hadn't seen him in several years. He fell and ruptured his spleen, severely damaged because he was an alcoholic for many many years. He died from internal bleeding.
Alan and I went into care in 1975, we had suffered a very abusive and mixed up childhood. I was 5 and he was 8. We had been through several years with a lack of parental attachment and with parents who were immature, selfish and incapable. We went through a children's home and a short term foster home before being fostered by a very middle class and educated couple in Barnes. Their plan was to mould us into middle class successful individuals. We were both very intelligent, but unfortunately there was no awareness in those days of the emotional harm and attachment issues caused by such an erratic early years experience.
Alan always claimed he never had a childhood. He was so severely damaged by being taken from the parents he loved , albeit completely awful and abusive, that he failed to have any normal adult relationships. Looking at my own autistic spectrum children, and my dad who was obviously on that spectrum, and Alan and my half brothers who are also probably that way inclined, I am not surprised he couldn't manage in society and cope with a normal lifestyle.
Alan was my superhero, my only constant in an erratic and awful childhood... he was my north, my south (as the poem goes) ...
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Alan's life was destroyed by poor parenting and appalling Social Services care in the 1970s and 1980s. He never managed to live a normal life. He was an alcoholic and had such an addictive personality that everything was a struggle
Alan, I love you. xxx
Sadly I am now older than him. Alan died in September 2008. He died in Darwin Australia, I hadn't seen him in several years. He fell and ruptured his spleen, severely damaged because he was an alcoholic for many many years. He died from internal bleeding.
Alan and I went into care in 1975, we had suffered a very abusive and mixed up childhood. I was 5 and he was 8. We had been through several years with a lack of parental attachment and with parents who were immature, selfish and incapable. We went through a children's home and a short term foster home before being fostered by a very middle class and educated couple in Barnes. Their plan was to mould us into middle class successful individuals. We were both very intelligent, but unfortunately there was no awareness in those days of the emotional harm and attachment issues caused by such an erratic early years experience.
Alan always claimed he never had a childhood. He was so severely damaged by being taken from the parents he loved , albeit completely awful and abusive, that he failed to have any normal adult relationships. Looking at my own autistic spectrum children, and my dad who was obviously on that spectrum, and Alan and my half brothers who are also probably that way inclined, I am not surprised he couldn't manage in society and cope with a normal lifestyle.
Alan was my superhero, my only constant in an erratic and awful childhood... he was my north, my south (as the poem goes) ...
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Alan's life was destroyed by poor parenting and appalling Social Services care in the 1970s and 1980s. He never managed to live a normal life. He was an alcoholic and had such an addictive personality that everything was a struggle
Alan, I love you. xxx
Thursday, 29 October 2015
Attention!! Autistic Actor Ahead!
Tomorrow is a momentous occasion. My eldest son, 21, has a film casting in London. OK, so he has been to hundreds of castings and auditions, especially between the ages of about 10 and 15. So why is tomorrow such a different experience?
Well, he is actually, for the first time ever, able to go to this casting as himself; an autistic young man.
As a child he was on the books of two very well known and renowned agencies; Sylvia Young's Younguns agency and A&J Management. It was easy for my autistic performer to land a place with these agents. Monologues are a piece of cake for a repetitive mimic; he could copy every single inflection in my voice and learn some quite complex pieces almost parrot fashion. He passed LAMDA exams at Distinction level time and again. Having a musical protegee for a mother, who worked as a musical director, his genetic natural musicality and stunning singing voice meant that the agencies also loved his singing voice.
However, being diagnosed with autism aged three was something we were unable to mention or refer to. The child-performer world is a strange environment. Children are not cast based on their talent.... well, that comes into it, but unfortunately for a young autistic boy, the casting directors look at so many other factors. Which is why he found himself auditioning for, and being recalled for, Gavroche in Les Mis seven times without actually landing the part! Knowing my son, I guess I understand that he probably didn't make eye contact enough, or wasn't sociable enough with the casting team or the other children. But he would have been absolutely perfect in the role, with his ability to repeat the part in exactly the same way time after time, on top of his inside-out knowledge of the role and his belting singing voice. Equally he would have been perfect in Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Sound of Music, all of which he was recalled for several times without actually being cast.
Maybe we should have been able to let them know he was autistic. I do strongly believe that this should not have gone against him..... but sadly it would have. The children's casting directors he saw, who for some reason seem to have a monopoly over every show employing child actors, have a very controlling manner and were incredibly frightening to come up against. If he had been applying to audition as an autistic child he would never have even been offered an audition! These casting directors also have issues with parents, and will ostracise a child performer if they dislike the parent. (there is an article in the Daily Mail written by one of these at: http://tinyurl.com/no4ws9h). I often wonder if those who write the shows, or finance the shows, are aware that some of the best young talent is never considered for a role!
So, all in all it was never an option to discuss his disability and help him through the discrimination to land one of the roles he was born to play.
But tomorrow he is meeting a well known casting director who knows he is autistic and wants to meet him specifically for that reason! He is so excited, and yet he says it feels very odd. For his whole childhood he had to pretend he was something he wasn't, due to the attitudes of the CDs. And pretending you are something you are not is very difficult when you are autistic!
Perhaps I should have fought harder..... but the boost to his self esteem each time he had a West End audition or a tv casting was enough to make me think we were doing the right thing at the time. Unfortunately it backfired later when those same casting directors were unsupportive (and one of them downright vindictive) when it all came out about his autism and also the disabilities of his siblings.
So now we are all completely honest and open. I have a son with autism who is an amazing musical theatre performer and actor. I have a son with Aspergers who is a diploma level musician, an advanced dancer and a stunning MT performer. I have a daughter with chronic anxieties who is an outstanding actress and is studying performing arts. She hopes to go to Drama School next year, and I have a son who is deaf and has Developmental Dyspraxia, who has performed in numerous professional shows, including being a soloist at Glyndebourne, but is now moving into technical theatre. Look out Brit School, he is aiming high!
I am proud of what they have achieved, despite their issues, and I will continue to support them and to raise awareness of the need to fight disability discrimination in the arts.
Break a Leg tomorrow son.... I love you.
(Any casting directors reading this please check out http://www.visablepeople.com/)
Well, he is actually, for the first time ever, able to go to this casting as himself; an autistic young man.
As a child he was on the books of two very well known and renowned agencies; Sylvia Young's Younguns agency and A&J Management. It was easy for my autistic performer to land a place with these agents. Monologues are a piece of cake for a repetitive mimic; he could copy every single inflection in my voice and learn some quite complex pieces almost parrot fashion. He passed LAMDA exams at Distinction level time and again. Having a musical protegee for a mother, who worked as a musical director, his genetic natural musicality and stunning singing voice meant that the agencies also loved his singing voice.
However, being diagnosed with autism aged three was something we were unable to mention or refer to. The child-performer world is a strange environment. Children are not cast based on their talent.... well, that comes into it, but unfortunately for a young autistic boy, the casting directors look at so many other factors. Which is why he found himself auditioning for, and being recalled for, Gavroche in Les Mis seven times without actually landing the part! Knowing my son, I guess I understand that he probably didn't make eye contact enough, or wasn't sociable enough with the casting team or the other children. But he would have been absolutely perfect in the role, with his ability to repeat the part in exactly the same way time after time, on top of his inside-out knowledge of the role and his belting singing voice. Equally he would have been perfect in Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Sound of Music, all of which he was recalled for several times without actually being cast.
Maybe we should have been able to let them know he was autistic. I do strongly believe that this should not have gone against him..... but sadly it would have. The children's casting directors he saw, who for some reason seem to have a monopoly over every show employing child actors, have a very controlling manner and were incredibly frightening to come up against. If he had been applying to audition as an autistic child he would never have even been offered an audition! These casting directors also have issues with parents, and will ostracise a child performer if they dislike the parent. (there is an article in the Daily Mail written by one of these at: http://tinyurl.com/no4ws9h). I often wonder if those who write the shows, or finance the shows, are aware that some of the best young talent is never considered for a role!
So, all in all it was never an option to discuss his disability and help him through the discrimination to land one of the roles he was born to play.
But tomorrow he is meeting a well known casting director who knows he is autistic and wants to meet him specifically for that reason! He is so excited, and yet he says it feels very odd. For his whole childhood he had to pretend he was something he wasn't, due to the attitudes of the CDs. And pretending you are something you are not is very difficult when you are autistic!
Perhaps I should have fought harder..... but the boost to his self esteem each time he had a West End audition or a tv casting was enough to make me think we were doing the right thing at the time. Unfortunately it backfired later when those same casting directors were unsupportive (and one of them downright vindictive) when it all came out about his autism and also the disabilities of his siblings.
So now we are all completely honest and open. I have a son with autism who is an amazing musical theatre performer and actor. I have a son with Aspergers who is a diploma level musician, an advanced dancer and a stunning MT performer. I have a daughter with chronic anxieties who is an outstanding actress and is studying performing arts. She hopes to go to Drama School next year, and I have a son who is deaf and has Developmental Dyspraxia, who has performed in numerous professional shows, including being a soloist at Glyndebourne, but is now moving into technical theatre. Look out Brit School, he is aiming high!
I am proud of what they have achieved, despite their issues, and I will continue to support them and to raise awareness of the need to fight disability discrimination in the arts.
Break a Leg tomorrow son.... I love you.
(Any casting directors reading this please check out http://www.visablepeople.com/)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)