Saturday 2 September 2017

Addressing Autism & Arresting Attitudes

Autism..... where do I start with describing this condition, and the impact of autism on the autistic person themselves and on those around them?

Autism is a pervasive developmental disorder, characterised by deficits in certain areas. Every child or adult with autism is different, however, each will have persistent difficulties with social communication and relationships, social imagination, repetitive and/or obsessive behaviours and sensory sensitivities. 

I live with this 24/7, not my own diagnosis, but the reality for four of my children and also my partner, who recently became my wife. After a lifetime of dealing with a diagnosis of both anxiety and depression and a personality disorder, she was finally 'correctly' diagnosed with autism earlier this year. A welcome and life-changing result after 30 years being failed by various NHS Mental Health departments. 

As I type this blog entry it is midnight, and I am sitting downstairs alone, taking a break from the constant demands that come from having an autistic family and more recently an autistic partner. I am hurting from her lack of empathy, I am worn out from meeting her needs, I am exhausted by having to pre-empt situations all day every day....not just for her, but for my autistic children too. I love my wife and my family, unreservedly and without condition, but life can be very difficult in this autism bubble. I am sure it is equally difficult for them, but in different ways. 

And then my thoughts, as always nowadays, turn to the 87,209 serving prisoners, locked away in their gated retreats. (Figures from NOMS 
Population and Capacity Briefing for Friday 25th August 2017)

When I worked in the Induction department at HMP Bronzefield, I very quickly identified the ladies coming in who appeared to be on the autistic spectrum. Having lived with autism at this point for about 23 years, I was well served to spot the signs. The head of prison education soon realised I was doing a good job and asked me to refer these ladies on to her for support. However, it was a heartbreaking situation I found myself in. These prisoners usually came in confused and distraught. Much of the time they had little understanding as to why or how they were in prison. Their crimes tended to be down to their autism and lack of understanding, rather than a chosen and planned criminal behaviour. Sadly it was incredibly common in Induction to welcome new inmates with mental health problems and learning difficulties, and many of these seemed to have undiagnosed autistic difficulties or traits. Most ended up that first night on the Healthcare wing, which was a cross between One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Awakenings! Definitely the worst place for somebody with sensory difficulties and a lack of social awareness. 

The thought of my autistic children or my partner ending up in jail is terrifying. Being stressed by overpowering noise and smells, with restricted eating habits, a lack of social communication skills and in need of a safe and secure routine and familiar environment; prison is a living hell for people with autism. 

The British Medical Journal published a report in 2016 (BMJ 2016;353:i3028) in which the researcher, a forensic psychologist, discusses the over-representation of autistic prisoners in HMP settings, currently about 2.3% of the prison population as opposed to 0.99% of the general population. And this is just those with a diagnosis, the figure will be higher, as so many prisoners seem to be undiagnosed. The article states:

"ASD is of specific concern among prisoners because it can slip through the gap between learning disabilities and mental health diagnoses, for which more formal assessments, in addition to liaison and diversion schemes, are being developed in forensic services. Identification of ASD at the earliest possible stage in the criminal justice system could allow for better assessment and management of challenging presentations and minimise the risk of additional mental ill health"

Most of my fellow gated retreat customers who I identified as having autistic spectrum condition or ASC traits, were instead perceived to have mental health problems, for which there was very little help in the prisons I was a guest at, and even less so for someone who is misdiagnosed. The therapy for personality disorders, depression and other mental health difficulties are usually unsuitable when dealing with a person with autism. These incredibly vulnerable ladies were often considered, by untrained and often ignorant staff, to be manipulative and "putting on" their behaviours. A lady screaming and crying all night because her routine had been altered without warning was instantly and cruelly punished. Restricting access to cleaning materials for an ASC lady with severe OCD was a tactic I witnessed being used to mentally torture another fellow inmate. 

One of the most important abilities you need to survive in jail is a skilled set of finely honed social skills. A new prisoner needs to be able to quickly assess other people, to be able to read facial expressions and tone of voice, The ability to make appropriate comments to both cellmates and staff is paramount. So how does this fit in with the intrinsic behavioural deficits of an autistic inmate? Well, it doesn't, leaving autistic prisoners open to bullying and abuse from all they come into contact with.

What is the solution? 

Firstly we need to have significantly better, and compulsory, training for the police, usually the first point of contact within the criminal justice system. My very autistic 23 year old son, if questioned by our boys in blue, would be incredibly anxious and would take everything very literally.He would be so easily manipulated into admitting guilt. He would assume that a policeman, who is in authority, would know better than him. He trusts those in charge to protect him and make decisions for him. His behaviour may appear odd and can sometimes draw unnecessary attention, but as autism is often a hidden disability it may not be immediately obvious to other people that he is disabled.

The National Autistic Society explains well the reasons why an autistic person may become involved in the Criminal Justice System: (http://www.autism.org.uk/cjp)

Social naivety. The desire to have friends has led some autistic people to be befriended by criminals, and become their unwitting accomplices People on the autistic spectrum often do not understand other people's motives. 

Difficulty with change or unexpected events. An unexpected change in the environment or routine, eg a public transport delay, may cause great anxiety and distress, leading to aggressive behaviour. 

Misunderstanding of social cues. For example, many autistic people have difficulties with eye contact, which may be avoided, fleeting prolonged or inappropriate. This may be interpreted as making unwanted sexual advances. 

Rigid adherence to rules. They may become extremely agitated if other people break these rules. For example, an autistic man was known to kick cars that were parked illegally.  

Not understanding the implications of their behaviour. Due to difficulties with social imagination, an autistic person might not learn from past experience. They may repeatedly offend if not offered the correct support and intervention. 


These situations can also occur in prison, causing the autistic prisoner to be treated badly by staff and punished unnecessarily. Prison staff are not currently well enough trained to deal with the multitude of mental health problems and other disorders they will come across in our failing prison system. There is a chronic lack of funding, and the educational entry requirements for a prison officer are far too low in my opinion. Putting a young person, possibly just 18 years old, with very little knowledge of the world and human differences, in charge of a wing, is just asking for the officer/prisoner relationship to fail. 

On my social media feeds I follow many families of prisoners fighting against wrongful conviction or inappropriate sentencing. One of the common themes in many of these cases is autism. One very young life-sentenced, joint enterprise, male prisoner has been diagnosed with autism subsequent to his trial. He was lucky enough to have the UK's top expert, Simon Baron Cohen, assess and diagnose him. Yet the court of appeal refused to believe a report from this renowned clinical psychologist and professor.......... and sadly it is incredibly common for courts to dismiss an autism diagnosis. 

Autistic defendants and prisoners are suffering at the hands of an out of date criminal justice system, which fails to understand quite how autism infiltrates every single part of an autistic person and their behaviours. It isn't a part time disability, dealt with by medication or therapy. It is a complete way of being, which will never change, improve or get better. Autistic people need understanding and strategies in order to cope with our confusing world. 

It is time, in 2017, to once and for all fully address the needs of our autistic population, and then to support them appropriately, thus reducing the risk of wrongly criminalising autistic people for behaviours beyond their control, and hopefully ending the incidents of re-offending in those already convicted. 





Monday 28 August 2017

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

My dream in May 2015, when I left the gated retreat, was to change the system, I had managed to achieve changes inside, but on release I was hit by the reality. The best laid plans.....

I spend far too much of my time these days on social media. But it seems, in this warped "prison and prison reform" world, I am not alone. Those of us trying to change the HMP chaos seem to be inordinately active on Twitter and Facebook. Little did I imagine, this time five years ago, that my social media feeds in 2017 would be filled with such issues as the need for prisoners to have email addresses, the appalling neglect and abuse of disabled inmates and  the unacceptable overcrowding and terrible conditions in the UK prison system. And that's without taking into consideration the problems with freely available drugs inside, the smoking ban currently being implemented and the constant media reports about the frequently corrupt HMP staff!

My frustration is immense. I read posts avidly and greedily, and want to be a part of the solution, a solution that I believe is possible. My desire to help gyrates in my brain 24/7. I blog, and share, and re-tweet, yet I cannot seem to infiltrate the very charities and reform groups I would absolutely be a game changer for. 

It's a confusing world. All of these charities employ a variety of paid staff. Many of these, I am sure, have absolutely the best intentions and want a solution. Yet, how do you, as a prison leaver, get into these very positions that would enable you to enact change? That enable your voice to be heard? The only solution seems to be volunteering, as mentioned in my last blog entry:

 http://outofsync8.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/inevitable-impact-of-incarceration.html

Being an "ex-offender" charity volunteer is seen far too often as the charity actually enabling the vulnerable, deprived, incapable prison leaver to have "meaningful and purposeful" activity. But what about the service users and prison leavers who are more than capable? The ones who are intelligent and focused and have come from a professional background? How do we break through into this secret society?

It seems the solution is to start yet another charity or reform group. But surely it is better to focus on having less groups who can help more people?

Today my Twitter chat was with the CEO of a prison-leavers charity I hadn't heard of before. Their issue of the day was to ensure that all prisoners leave jail with an email address. Sounds sensible and achievable, and necessary,  unless you have actually been a guest of Her Majesty. Mention internet access when in jail and you are grounded, nicked and possibly put in Seg! Internet access terrifies security in prison, yet in reality many of the men in jail have it anyway, through secreted mobile phones. My Twitter feed has many serving prisoners on it, and I am so incredibly grateful for the reality of their input. During my two years inside the female estate I didn't even get a whiff of a mobile, and only ever heard about one lady who had managed to hide one for two years! Men's jails, it seems, are very different!

Prisoners need to leave jail with many things in place. Yet, through-the-gate services are dire or non-existent. These prison leavers need an e-mail address.... yes..... but they need the skills to use it! Giving a lifer an e-mail address to use on release, and a web site with the instructions on how to access it, is asking that licensed prisoner to fail! Imagine being transported from say 1991 to 2017 and being expected to instantly use a laptop or iPad or mobile phone, with your future income and housing and job being reliant on this?

In the last few months of a sentence an inmate must be allowed to access the internet, learn to use a mobile phone, apply fully for benefits, visit the local housing department. If we want to stop the revolving door we need to take this much more seriously. Working in the Vision Office in HMP East Sutton Park, trying to support ladies into work, it was almost impossible for me to perform my role without internet access. HMP officers and staff like to be in control, and they would only pass on e-mails etc when they felt like it, which dashed many prisoners chances of meaningful paid employment We need to remember that human behaviours and personalities play a big part in the attitudes of the staff employed to support and care for prisoners. My personal experience is that the majority had very little empathy, which has a detrimental impact on those prisoners trying to better themselves. 

One story featuring massively on my social media feeds at the moment, which truly concerns me, is the treatment of, and attitude towards, a young disabled prisoner. This 24 year old man caused his own life-changing disabilities in a car crash, which tragically killed two teenage boys and seriously disabled two others who were travelling in his car. His crime is hard to forgive, he made incredibly bad choices and has been severely punished by his life long paralysis and other life limiting disorders. He was sentenced to seven and a half years in jail, for death by dangerous driving. He is wheelchair bound, tetraplegic, doubly incontinent and currently very unwell. 

His mother, understandably so, is at her wits end and is tweeting all and sundry to try to get her son the care he needs. A 2017 UK prison is not the appropriate place for a seriously disabled prisoner. He has become seriously unwell, lost a lot of weight and is at risk of serious injury or death. The lack of funding and staffing in today's HMPS means that many inmates are likely to be on 23 hour bang up, and often ignored by mental health teams and healthcare. But, for such a severely disabled prisoner, the current prison regime cannot possibly provide the care needed. The removal of freedom is the punishment ordered by the courts. Whilst in prison each offender must be treated humanely and fairly, and yet this will be impossible for this young man with such severe and all encompassing medical needs. I have personal experience of the appalling treatment of disabled ladies, many thought to be swinging the lead or hypochondriacs, and very few allowances are made. All prisoners are believed to be deceitful, and the disabled and unwell are not excluded from this! One incident I remember well is accompanying a disabled lady with a walking frame to a church event in HMP Bronzefield, who then could not walk back, Staff refused to help, refused to allow other ladies to help, and ultimately this disabled lady was punished for being unable to return to her wing due to her disability. 

Social Media is cruel and the Daily Mail readers of this world have such hatred for this young man's offence that he, his mother, and his family have received threats and appalling comments online. (Some of the comments are from serving prison officers which is deeply disturbing). I have read many of these, and I despair at the ignorance of the British general public towards prison sentences and their purpose. I pray that this young man starts to receive that '24 hour care by a team of 8 people', as promised by Judge Collier at his sentencing....... It doesn't seem likely. I wonder exactly what rehabilitation he will receive, whilst being seriously ill, profoundly disabled and lacking in basic care? His mum states he doesn't even have a cell call bell......

Britain's prison system is at breaking point. There are many clones of "me" in the community who really want to make it change. The problem is that we are seldom taken seriously. We blog, and tweet, and post, and write books and articles. Yet we are all "ex-offenders" and as such we are unimportant. 

I am reaching out through this blog. I want to be a serious part of the change needed within the criminal justice system, I am available to work with any charities. I blog, I write, I am studying BA Criminology at a red brick uni! But I am not a vulnerable ex offender who needs supporting into meaningful activity. Will you take me up on my challenge? Will you prove I am wrong with my current analysis of reform charities? Will you take me on board with my incredible academic and analytical skills, my ability to problem solve and my personal knowledge of the system? 

I am waiting to hear from you......

Thursday 24 August 2017

Inevitable Impact of Incarceration

I am a highly intelligent woman. Ask Judge Anthony Niblett... he used this phrase endless times during my court case!

In early 2016, having left Jail a few months earlier,  I was lucky enough to land an interview for the BA Social Work at the University of Sussex, a course you have to sell your soul to get onto (or have incredible academic qualifications which I luckily had). I had started my studies towards this in 2012, by studying on a one year Access course in Health and Social Care, and I had achieved 61/61 distinctions on the course. Pretty well qualified for the degree course, if I say so myself as the entry requirements at this red brick university was 40 distinctions or more.
The interview went well, I seemed to click with the friendly interviewer who had also come to social work as a mature student, and then....... the question....
"Finally, we ask everybody this question, do you have any criminal convictions?"
At this point I was not long out of prison and still relatively naive. "Yes I do" I replied, and that was that! No questions were asked and I was free to go. Having been given a small sheet of paper on which to describe my conviction, and knowing my conviction (although wrongful) would have no effect on my ability to work with children, I wrote my explanatory paragraph, assuming there would, at some point, be further discussion over the actual ins and outs of my conviction and why I maintained my innocence.

Shortly after my interview I received a UCAS notification, simply stating that I had not managed to gain a place on the course, and I also then received several emails from admissions about my criminal record with regards to the other courses I had been already accepted onto! I immediately asked for feedback on my Social Work interview, and in the mean-time I accepted my place on a different course; Psychology with Criminology. This course did not demand a disclosure which I was very happy to explain to admissions using their own policy documentation! I did not feel able to fight for the Social Work course at this point, still suffering from the PTSD you inevitably suffer after a stint at the hands of the brutal HMPS, and also suffering from low self-esteem. My dreams, for many years, of working in the social work system had been dashed and I must truly therefore be a bad person to be refused the opportunity. However, a year later, I have realised I have still not received that feedback, and am now actively following it up. I am stronger now and more able to fight the system. Why should a conviction for fraud affect my ability to be the most amazing social worker. Surely my background of being a child in the appalling care system for 13 years, my years working with vulnerable adults and children, and my intelligent and analytical mind, and skills in critical thinking be enough to afford me a place on the degree course. Prison destroys your strength and makes you far too accepting of discrimination. Watch this space for my feedback if I finally receive it.

But it is not only in education that this discrimination happens, and where we, as ex-offenders, feel the impact of a prison sentence.

When I was first released I signed up with some employment and job seeking sites. I was head hunted for a job working with children with additional needs, ideal for me as several of my children have additional needs, plus a plethora of experience working with children like this. I attended the interview, they loved me, and I was offered the job on the spot, there and then, at the interview. All was going well until I had to send in the DBS forms. The interviewer (a probation officer for twenty years) was fully aware of my conviction and all the circumstances around it, including maintaining my innocence, however, after waiting many weeks for the DBS to be returned, I was simply emailed to tell me I would not be employed due to my DBS!! My "convictions" have no impact on working with children, and yet this company chose not to employ someone who would have been amazing in the job role, purely based on a piece of paper rather than the reality.

So, as an ex-offender ( a label that I don't actually identify with having not offended in the first place!), your only route seems to be volunteering with charities. For a year and a half I have been involved with a well known charity which believes that only ex-offenders can change the system and stop re-offending. When I first became involved with this charity I believed this was an amazing philosophy. But now I have seen the reality of this charity, which employs mainly ex-offenders in their paid positions, but seems to choose those with the most issues! There is nepotism, breach of confidentiality, erratic behaviours, chaos. Everything I saw in jail, from both prisoners and staff, and wanted to escape from! I have slowly become more and more disenchanted with the charity, which could, in reality,be amazing. However, they belittle their volunteers, making assumptions about their lack of ability due to being an ex offender and refusing to take on board the amazing skills many of these ex service users bring to the table. This charity loses so many volunteers because they often employ those still in chaos to be in team engagement roles, which leads to a lack of committed support. Very recently they employed someone in an engagement role who was sacked within a month due to these chaotic behaviours, and yet there were three other candidates at interview who would have been far more able. These charities need to employ those best for the role rather than the person with the longest criminal record!

The impact of a prison sentence is huge. Where do we go? Employment is often impossible, university is OK as long as you have the qualifications and the course doesn't involve a DRB, charities use and abuse you and believe you to be incapable......

An amazing guy I met through one of the charities I worked with (Pete that's you!)  is setting up his own charity to work with ex offenders on 'through the gate' issues. Through the gate support is sadly lacking, and charities are relied upon to provide a service which, in reality, should be put in place by HMPS and the probation service and CRCs. He has asked me to help out, he recognises my many skills and abilities, and I will gladly do this as I think he is amazing. He is used and abused by the charity he works for, but is going to be a game changer in his own environment.

I have now chosen to study a BA in Criminology, still at the University of Sussex, and maybe an MA in Social Work, which gives me time to fight the discriminatory system. I am supporting "ban the box" and still fighting to help those less capable than me.

Serving your sentence should mean the end. Lets ban the box and stop the assumption that a prison sentence leaves you incapable, deceitful, and unemployable. Surely we, as a society, want ex-offenders to be rehabilitated, and to be working for a living wherever possible. Ex offenders need to be judged on their own abilities and not on their past, and reform charities need to learn that there doesn't necessarily need to be a long sentence to afford a person the ability to work within the system and fight it.

The impact of incarceration should and can lead to a changed, positive and capable member of society. Lets work together to achieve this.






Monday 22 May 2017

Finally Freedom... but Forever Fighting!

Four years ago, I thought I would be running for the hills when this day came.....
yet today I find myself massively involved in the criminal justice system attending more probation offices than ever before!

On May 22nd 2013 a judge remanded me in custody, prior to sentencing the next day. No pre-sentence reports for me! No time to go home and arrange support for my children (which is usual in a fraud case). I had been found guilty by a jury of my peers (well, not too sure about that) of a massively contrived fraud. After 4 years on unconditional bail and a six week trial, which had to end quickly and suddenly, as the judge had a holiday booked (!!!!)....... I was found guilty of 22/23 indictments. 

I have spent the last two nights with my family watching The Trial: A Murder In The Family, and this has unleashed some incredibly strong emotions that I have sat on for the last four years. Listening to the astonishingly prejudiced opinions of the jury members in this televised case I can only imagine the comments in the juror room during my own trial. 

A British court case is a drama; a piece of theatre. My barrister said to me that I would enjoy the theatre of my court case... knowing that I was a musical director and a theatre producer. I think that "enjoy" was too strong a word! My court case was soul destroying, corrupt, immoral, probably illegal, badly run, degrading, unethical, perfidious, need I go on?

Those of you who follow my blog will already have an understanding of my wrongful conviction. After all, I have children, albeit adults now, who are receiving those very same disability payments I was imprisoned for receiving! Confused? Yes and so was my jury! I don't hate them.... I think they were also victims of an outdated and corrupt judicial system that fails to understand human nature and assumes trust in the system.

Where am I today?

Today I finished my four year sentence. I have been out of jail for two years, on licence in the community and reporting to probation on a regular basis. I have been unable to go abroad, unable to stay away from home overnight without permission, unable to get a job without permission, it goes on and on. My first post-jail Probation Officer, now called a Responsible Officer (RO) was an utter nightmare. Due to my maintaining innocence, and the issues this causes in jail, she was determined to believe I was somehow manipulative, dishonest and bound to re-offend! (despite having never offended as I often reminded her! Dawn we really did have some discussions didn't we!) I hope I have proved to you, Dawn, over two years on licence that I really am not an offender!

When I ended up at her majesty's pleasure, my first thoughts were about how I would use my skills, to keep busy and to make sure the powers that be realised I was not a bad guy. I worked in peer support throughout my two year sentence and this has continued since returning home. 

About a year after I left jail I became involved with a charity called User Voice. User Voice believes that the fundamental issue that causes high rates of re-offending and all the other associated problems is ....

...the ‘us vs. them’ culture.

Society feels frustrated with those who re-offend repeating cycles of behaviour and not engaging with rehabilitation services. Yet people with convictions feel marginalised by society, with rehabilitation services which are often inaccessible and unhelpful and a system that doesn’t value their input. 
Whatever the truth, we won’t reduce crime unless we deal with this division. User Voice’s core belief is that rehabilitation only happens when everyone in the criminal justice system shares responsibility for transforming the ‘us vs. them’ division into real collaboration. 
Although innocent of any crime, I have the lived experience of the criminal justice system and am determined to change the system from within. 
On a personal level, my life is really good. I am marrying my partner in July. My children with additional needs are getting the financial support they are entitled to. I deferred my university place due to my youngest being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes... this has been a roller coaster!... but will be returning to my criminology studies at Sussex in September. We are all learning, slowly, to answer the door, to answer the phone, to cope with the flashing lights of a police car, to read a news report about the DWP without going into a panic attack!
The scars are there forever.... I can't forgive. But we are a family, never divided, always together. We can overcome the narcissistic attempted destruction of our family. I believe the biggest issue the prosecution had was that they couldn't destroy my family. They couldn't shake the strength we have as a unit.   
To my children.... Jordan, Perry, Eden, Brogan, Harris, Raefn, Chay and Beau.... you are my reason for living, my everything. You are my strength, my support, with you I feel whole. This is all over now.... but I know it will never be over for you. And until this conviction is overturned I will always feel I have let you down. I love you. You are my world, my reason for being. Thank you for all you have done, all you have lived through.
Next step.... the appeal.... watch this space!






Wednesday 22 February 2017

Licence, Life and Love

It's been a while.......

Life takes over, and all your well laid plans to change the world become the clutter at the bottom of your in-tray, while you are bringing up your children, looking for work, trying to pay your bills and keep your head above water!

When I read back on my "post gated-retreat" blogs I am almost ashamed that I no longer seem to be fighting the system with the energy and determination I showed back in May 2015. 

Life moves on, but believe me, my passion remains the same. 

Tomorrow I finish my training with User Voice, which will enable me to run surgeries at Probation Offices for other service users, seeking their opinions of good and bad practice. I have been involved now for about 6 months, and gradually I am seeing how this amazing charity is fighting at grass roots level to input change into the rehabilitation of offenders. "Only Offenders Can Stop Re-offending".

This has really rung true... OK, so I am not an offender, but I have such a strong knowledge of the system and of serving time that I can talk to other service users on their level, and they appreciate it. The majority of comments at surgeries are about the need for more ex-offenders to be working within the probation service, as they understand where service users are coming from. 

My personal life has been the driving force since my last blog entry in August 2016. Sometimes fate shines on you, this has been a rare event in my life, but sometimes someone gives you a break. As a Christian I like to believe that a higher being had a plan for me and made my life complete, but maybe some of you may believe in fate or karma or......

But even meeting your soul mate is not without trauma. The love of my life is by no means simple. In fact, she has a complex set of behaviours, and my time on holiday has really helped me to help her with her lifetime of issues. Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder it was very easy to see, straight away, that this was not an accurate assessment. In the female estate, the ladies really do have a myriad of mental health problems, most of them untreated or ignored. Many had BPD, and so I became very familiar with that BPD specific risk taking behaviour. And that behaviour was simply not present in this person sent to save me. 30 years in adult mental health services had simply served to confuse and fail this vulnerable lady. 

As you will know from reading these blogs, my household is made up from many people on the autistic spectrum. We are an eccentric, dynamic, anxious, highly intelligent, hypersensitive, neurotic, odd family. But we have served a purpose... as my love and my future sees in herself the behaviours that my boys exhibit.... the boys who were denied their own identity by DWP in their corrupt prosecution, the ones who now have that identity back and also have back the financial support I was imprisoned for claiming!

We are a self analytical group of intelligent beings; keeping an analytical diary at uni was never a problem for me. But for one who has never looked beyond what the professionals told her, this has been a steep and painful learning curve. 

Why in 2017 are we still failing girls and women in autism diagnosis. My future wife has waited until she was 50 and had met my crazy family before she was able to see that her issues lay, not in chronic depression, but in her brain differences, her different thought processes, her chemical make up. What would her life have been like if this had been discovered as a young teen?

When I worked on Induction in Bronzefield I was used by staff to filter out those with a probable autistic spectrum disorder. I spotted them as soon as they walked in...... many of these should never have been sent to prison. In fact, probably all of them. Being autistic in prison is torture, with no social communication skills, probably convicted of a crime you didn't even know you were committing, it must be unbearable. Mixing socially with people you just cannot understand, and probably not understanding why you are even there!

One of my future aims is to open the eyes of the judicial system to offenders with autism. God forbid my autistic children ever end up at the mercy of our corrupt courts and judges. I pray for change and understanding over the next few years and I will use my excellent engagement skills to work on changing perceptions. 

But, on the whole, life is good. Very good. Excellent! I have one more date to report before my licence is over. I have a life partner, who is everything I could ever want, and I have a wedding to arrange! July 2017 my life moves onto a new phase. But I will never forget my experiences, the people I met, the ones I still have to meet and the ability I have to change the system. I won't stop. Ever.