So my first Christmas as a free women is here!
I send my love to all the ladies who are spending Christmas away from their families at Her Majesty's Pleasure. In particular my thoughts are with my lovely friend who used to ring me in the middle of the night from the end of her garden, who has now been recalled (please see previous blogs) and also Joanne Dennehy who has a lifetime in jail ahead of her.
My Probation officer told me last week that hardly any of her clients have been allowed Christmas ROTL this year. This is incredibly sad and my hope for 2016 is an intelligent and informed reform of the prison system to enable rehabilitation and not just punishment.
My Christmas involves my eight children, my Scottish friend (see previous blogs), my 18 year old daughter's boyfriend, my ex husband who has sadly had a stroke aged 45 and my involvement at the local church - tomorrow we have two crib services which I am playing for.
Happy Christmas to all who read my blog and all the best for 2016!
Thank you all for you support
Wednesday 23 December 2015
Open Letter to my Daughter
February 10th 1990, when you were born, was completely and utterly the best day of my life. I had waited for you for nearly four years, four years of being desperate for a baby, desperate for you - that perfect being who I could give all that unwanted love to.
I was just 20 years old when you were born. I didn't realise it then, but I was a very fragile and damaged 20 year old. I now know I have attachment disorder caused by my turbulent, abusive childhood. However, at that time I thought I was invincible. Bringing you up to have everything I didn't have was my most important desire.
Loving you was easy. You were loved and adored and wanted every minute of every day, both by me and by your dad. Night after night you had colic and we paced the floor for hours and hours, cleaned up the vomit, and calmed your screams.
Once the colic was over we had your food refusal issues to deal with, and your UTIs. You seemed to always have something going on. You were labelled a "failure to thrive" baby and after scans and investigations we were told you had urinary reflux which meant daily antibiotics for the next two years, something you fought against with every single dose.
At a year old you became very ill with pneumonia and were hospitalised. You forgot how to walk and had to be fed through an NG tube. But, being the bolshie child we knew, a few days later you pulled your tube out and started to get better.
Your sister was born when you were 15 months old and boy were you unimpressed! You were so important to me and so totally loved that I was scared I would not have room to love your sister. I couldn't believe I could possibly manage the strength of feeling I had for you and also feel that way about another child. But I did, and also for the next six siblings!
Your childhood was not easy, not for you and also not for me and your siblings. You were an astounding and amazing child. Highly intelligent, you were my mini me. With a thirst for knowledge and hyperlexic I was so proud of you. Getting you the right education was an issue right from the beginning. You struggled to fit in and, although a high-flyer academically you had so many problems with other people. We tried so many different schools. Looking back, with a different background and family support I may have made different decisions, may have let you struggle in one environment in the hope you would succeed. But, being so young with no support, and determined to give you the best, I tried and tried to place you somewhere you would be happy. Your happiness was my number one thought throughout your childhood.
Skipping forward to December 2015... you are my only child who really struggles with my two years in prison. Although you have never spoken to me about it, your black and white thought processes mean you think I am at fault. It's ironic really, your claim was the one I was found not guilty of....
You were diagnosed with Aspergers when you were 10. You were very unhappy then; it must have been so difficult to deal with being so different and not understanding why. You were bullied at every school; it didn't seem to matter how lovely the school.... I failed to ensure you didn't suffer. It broke my heart when other children picked on you because you were different. Schools hated me because I stood up for you, because I complained about their staff, because I refused to allow you to be unhappy.
Yet, despite the suffering, school changes and depression, you managed to achieve academically and won a place at the flagship University of Warwick. I am so proud of all you achieved. In the first term you were desperate to come home, struggling to cope. But you had good support from the Uni Disability team, and then you met your first boyfriend which made a huge difference to your coping ability. Although you and he have parted now, he was there to support you when you really couldn't cope.
I haven't seen you for over two years. I wrote to you from the holiday camp and you didn't reply. I texted you when your dad had a stroke last month and you didn't reply. You stay in touch with your siblings and you are very vocal with them about your opinion of me. But, despite your amazing journalistic abilities you have been unable to articulate your opinions to me.
I probably confuse you. I, after all, have had two years to analyse and evaluate myself. I have come to terms with all my shortfalls. I have learnt about human behaviours and character faults. I have become calmer, more accepting, less judgemental. I have been able to investigate my childhood issues and look at how that abuse has affected me.
You have a very specific and controlled persona, honed I am sure due to your need to be successful, liked, wanted and capable: all of which you are.
I am really struggling. You are spending Christmas with me, with us, with your family. Yet you are offering me cold politeness. I can't fault it, I can't state you are being openly rude or offensive. Yet your cold arrogance is chilling and hurtful. Your siblings deserve better and I deserve better. I am your mother, I brought you into this world, loved you , cared for you, supported you, gave you absolutely everything I could. I am human. I have faults and make mistakes. But so do you......
I love you.
I was just 20 years old when you were born. I didn't realise it then, but I was a very fragile and damaged 20 year old. I now know I have attachment disorder caused by my turbulent, abusive childhood. However, at that time I thought I was invincible. Bringing you up to have everything I didn't have was my most important desire.
Loving you was easy. You were loved and adored and wanted every minute of every day, both by me and by your dad. Night after night you had colic and we paced the floor for hours and hours, cleaned up the vomit, and calmed your screams.
Once the colic was over we had your food refusal issues to deal with, and your UTIs. You seemed to always have something going on. You were labelled a "failure to thrive" baby and after scans and investigations we were told you had urinary reflux which meant daily antibiotics for the next two years, something you fought against with every single dose.
At a year old you became very ill with pneumonia and were hospitalised. You forgot how to walk and had to be fed through an NG tube. But, being the bolshie child we knew, a few days later you pulled your tube out and started to get better.
Your sister was born when you were 15 months old and boy were you unimpressed! You were so important to me and so totally loved that I was scared I would not have room to love your sister. I couldn't believe I could possibly manage the strength of feeling I had for you and also feel that way about another child. But I did, and also for the next six siblings!
Your childhood was not easy, not for you and also not for me and your siblings. You were an astounding and amazing child. Highly intelligent, you were my mini me. With a thirst for knowledge and hyperlexic I was so proud of you. Getting you the right education was an issue right from the beginning. You struggled to fit in and, although a high-flyer academically you had so many problems with other people. We tried so many different schools. Looking back, with a different background and family support I may have made different decisions, may have let you struggle in one environment in the hope you would succeed. But, being so young with no support, and determined to give you the best, I tried and tried to place you somewhere you would be happy. Your happiness was my number one thought throughout your childhood.
Skipping forward to December 2015... you are my only child who really struggles with my two years in prison. Although you have never spoken to me about it, your black and white thought processes mean you think I am at fault. It's ironic really, your claim was the one I was found not guilty of....
You were diagnosed with Aspergers when you were 10. You were very unhappy then; it must have been so difficult to deal with being so different and not understanding why. You were bullied at every school; it didn't seem to matter how lovely the school.... I failed to ensure you didn't suffer. It broke my heart when other children picked on you because you were different. Schools hated me because I stood up for you, because I complained about their staff, because I refused to allow you to be unhappy.
Yet, despite the suffering, school changes and depression, you managed to achieve academically and won a place at the flagship University of Warwick. I am so proud of all you achieved. In the first term you were desperate to come home, struggling to cope. But you had good support from the Uni Disability team, and then you met your first boyfriend which made a huge difference to your coping ability. Although you and he have parted now, he was there to support you when you really couldn't cope.
I haven't seen you for over two years. I wrote to you from the holiday camp and you didn't reply. I texted you when your dad had a stroke last month and you didn't reply. You stay in touch with your siblings and you are very vocal with them about your opinion of me. But, despite your amazing journalistic abilities you have been unable to articulate your opinions to me.
I probably confuse you. I, after all, have had two years to analyse and evaluate myself. I have come to terms with all my shortfalls. I have learnt about human behaviours and character faults. I have become calmer, more accepting, less judgemental. I have been able to investigate my childhood issues and look at how that abuse has affected me.
You have a very specific and controlled persona, honed I am sure due to your need to be successful, liked, wanted and capable: all of which you are.
I am really struggling. You are spending Christmas with me, with us, with your family. Yet you are offering me cold politeness. I can't fault it, I can't state you are being openly rude or offensive. Yet your cold arrogance is chilling and hurtful. Your siblings deserve better and I deserve better. I am your mother, I brought you into this world, loved you , cared for you, supported you, gave you absolutely everything I could. I am human. I have faults and make mistakes. But so do you......
I love you.
Thursday 3 December 2015
MEDIA MANIPULATION & ROTL REALITY
"Up to 100 killers serving life in prison allowed HOME for Christmas"
screamed the headlines in The Daily Express this week. A pretty typical offering from the right wing tabloid press in the lead up to the holiday season. The article went on to express scaremongering fear that murderers, rapists and repeat violent offenders are among those to be released on temporary licence and carelessly and freely being given the enjoyment of a Christmas with their families.
Before I knew the joy of being detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure I knew absolutely nothing about prison. I had never known anyone in prison. I had never visited a prison. I did not understand how prison sentences work, how much time is served, what parole is, what an IPP prisoner is or what ROTL is. But, being an intelligent and mature individual, I had also never judged another person for becoming a prisoner. I had, of course, seen vitriolic articles in tabloid papers condemning and judging all those convicted and then sentenced to time inside. But my opinion is not easily swayed, as I am all too aware of political and social bias and the clever use of the written word! I like to look carefully into everything I hear, see or read about in this life for myself, and I analyse and evaluate, look at evidence, and try to come to a compassionate, but intelligent, conclusion.
So let's look at the facts:
ROTL or release on temporary licence is on offer to ALL prisoners. Each person has to meet the published criteria in order to be considered for ROTL. An application has to be made, and reports are drawn up from wing staff, Offender Managers within the prison, the Offender Supervisors on the outside (Probation Officers), the police and also agencies looking out for the victims of the crime. The prisoner then has to sit a ROTL board (imagine the hardest job interview you have ever faced crossed with judgement day...), and then sit and wait for the results.... This can all take months, and there are often knockbacks. Delays are common, especially when waiting for reports from outside probation.
Once (and if) ROTL is approved it does not get any easier!! The rules around ROTL are endless!! For a start you have to fight for the prison to agree and accept your full inventory of every minute of every hour you are away from the prison. This has to be written so accurately that the prison can contact you at any moment and know exactly where you should be and what you are doing. You cannot access any social media. You cannot have a mobile phone other than a basic one. You can only access the internet for rehabilitation purposes such as searching for employment or housing. You cannot drive. You cannot enter any licensed premises. ROTL is only approved if it fits in with your written sentence plan...and rightly so, as this is to ensure that ROTL is only used to aid rehabilitation and to prevent reoffending.
ROTL is also a gradually increasing release plan. It usually starts with supervised charity work or work just outside the prison grounds. This then builds up to Resettlement Day Release (RDR) for rebuilding and maintaining family ties, which may only be approved and allowed to happen within the local area and then may eventually be allowed for a few hours at the home address. Finally there is Resettlement Overnight Release (ROR) which is also a gradually increasing ROTL, often starting with only one night away. And this is after the prisoner has proved themselves trustworthy on RDR for work over a long period of time! ROR is now only accessible for the last nine months of a sentence, another reduction put in place by the thankfully long-gone Chris Grayling.
I met many lifers in my time in the concentration camps. I mixed with the above mentioned murderers and repeat violent offenders, hated by the Daily Express amongst many others. I didn't mix with rapists, being in a women's prison it's rare, but I also mixed with sex offenders. As a mature, intelligent, politically aware, socially aware, streetwise and well worn middle aged woman and mother....... there was not one prisoner I met whom I would consider a risk if released on ROR for Christmas at the end of their sentence. Actually, not quite true! I spent a lot of time with Joanna Dennehy, currently serving a whole life sentence for three murders in 2013. She is not the person portrayed by the press at all, but still not someone who would ever be at the point of accessing ROTL. And, actually, on a whole life sentence she would never be eligible. You see the system in place to prepare a prisoner, especially a lifer, for possible ROTL is very robust. Yes, there are a tiny number of ROTL failures, and obviously these are blown up in the press for all to see, but it is such an important and positive tool for use in rehabilitation that it must be allowed to continue and encouraged.
In 2012 there were 485,000 ROTL days for prisoners in England and Wales. The number of ROTL failures, where an offence occurred, was 0.005% of these, or about 24. (The Prison Governors’ Association) This is an incredibly low number and much lower than the re-offending rates of prisoners released straight into society.
It is easy to become emotionally swayed by the families of victims of crime. One cannot even begin to imagine the pain caused by the loss of a relative through murder. There can be no words to describe it. But, whatever we all think and believe as individuals, we have a criminal justice system that is bound by strict laws which were created and passed by the governments we elect. We must allow this system to do its job, and if a person convicted of a crime such as murder is given a set tariff, then that must be accepted by all as their punishment. Towards the end of that time each prisoner needs to become prepared for society and be allowed to gain, in some way, the skills needed to become a productive and crime free member of the community again. ROTL is a proven way to produce hard-working and resettled ex-offenders who can continue with a crime free life.
Something that I find very distressing is the opinion of many, especially the Daily Mail readers and many working in the Criminal Justice System, that once one offence is committed (or a conviction gained, despite an innocent plea) this automatically means the convicted person will always think or act like a criminal. I forgive the general public for believing the manipulated facts and biased reporting in the media, although I struggle to understand their naivety. But something seriously has to be done to educate our society about the human reality and stories behind the convictions.
At HMPs Bronzefield, Send and East Sutton Park I lived with women convicted of offences ranging from shoplifting, common assault, driving offences and minor fraud right along the spectrum of criminality to repeat grievous bodily harm, murder and child sex offences. I got to know many of these women very well, and indeed there is nothing you can hide from others in a female prison. We all had inside out knowledge of each other's crimes, stories, background and future hopes. Let me briefly tell you about some convicted murderers I know, just like those slated for getting ROTL at Christmas by the Daily Express and many of the general public. I have changed their names.
Julie was convicted of murder and sentenced to life with a tariff of 18 years. She was 19 years old with a young toddler when she was sentenced. Her daughter will be 20 by the time she is released (if she gets her parole). Julie had been through prolonged sexual abuse as a child and had an abusive partner. Before the crime was committed she was involved in a car crash, when she was heavily pregnant. She had to have her labour induced as the baby had been severely damaged by the crash. Her baby lived for a few days in the Neonatal intensive care unit then sadly passed away. Julie and her partner took many photos of the baby and suffered immense grief. At some point the camera, with the baby photos on it, was stolen by somebody they both knew. Unbeknownst to Julie, her partner went to confront the man who stole it. They got into a fight and the man sadly died. Julie was then forced by her partner to help him dispose of the man's body. She had absolutely no involvement in the murder, was not even there at the time, but was too afraid of being killed or hurt herself to refuse to help. Under joint enterprise laws she was convicted alongside him of murder and given an incredibly long sentence. She has appealed to all the courts available to her and struggles to address her "violent" offensive behaviour while in prison as she has none..... Julie was actually the person who reported the crime to the police.......
Sophie was a teenager who became enthralled with some older teens on her estate. A hard working college attender, who came from a loving supportive family, she was unfortunately quite easily led and was encouraged by the older girls to drink and hang around on the streets. One evening the group of teens decided to pick on a man who lived locally, believing some rumours about him. Sophie remained on the edges of the violent behaviour, but the man was hurt and many of the group were charged with GBH. Several months later he sadly died. Sophie was then charged with murder by joint enterprise and was convicted and sentenced to life with a tariff of 10 years. Sophie was only 17. She finished her education in a Young Offenders Institute and has spent all her growing up years in prison. She has shown no signs of any violent or offensive behaviour in prison. She is now 26 and in open prison accessing the ROTL system. For prisoners like Sophie ROTL is vital as she has not spent any time as an adult in society and is still very much a teenager.
Gillian was married for many years to an alcoholic. They lived in a first floor flat. One day they had a row and he went off to the pub to drink. When he came home Gillian told him to go and sleep it off and pushed him away from her with her hands on his chest. He drunkenly left the flat and Gillian went to bed. In the morning she found him dead at the bottom of the stairs up to the flat. Gillian immediately called the police and ambulance but it was too late. She loved her husband despite his alcohol issues and was distraught that he had died all alone. Gillian was convicted of his murder, despite no evidence or witnesses. She was sentenced to life with a 17 year tariff. Gillian, too, is struggling to address any offending behaviour as there is none.
For people like Gillan, Julie and Sophie there is very little achieved by such long prison sentences other than a harsh punishment for crimes that were beyond their control. These are just three examples of many similar stories I came across in the female estate. I did meet a very small number of women who had purposely and vindictively committed really horrendous crimes. For example the lady who stabbed her teenage children to death in their sleep, stabbing them 66 times in order to prevent her ex husband having access. She has a tariff of 33 years and truly deserves it. Also I met a gang of girls who imprisoned a young man with learning difficulties and tortured him for days. They too knew exactly what they were doing and deserve a harsh sentence.
But these women were few and far between. The women's estate is filled to the brim with our failures as a society. Our failure to support women with mental health needs, our failure to be there to help protect women with abusive partners, our failure to have robust addiction treatment programs, our failure to raise 'looked after' children successfully and on it goes.
Until we as a society accept our role in the past and future offending behaviour of members of our society, then we as a society have to stop judging and condemning those convicted of an offence.
There but for the grace of God..........
Sunday 29 November 2015
Sodexo Prison Pawns
So my Scottish friend and I had an interesting experience this week!
I took my son, as always on a Thursday, to his National Theatre Stage Management course. The plan was for us to visit the Reform Exhibition at the Southbank while waiting for him!
http://www.koestlertrust.org.uk/pages/exhibitions.html
My Scottish friend. currently staying down here but still with no permanent decision, came along too!
When we arrived it was closed for a VIP event. Being very disappointed, and also struggling to know what we would spend three hours doing while son was teching, I decided to question what was happening, Spying the Sodexo name badges I was keen to discuss my own experiences at the hands of Sodexo! We ended up being invited into the VIP event by the CEO of Sodeo, Janine McDowell! She was very excited to have two ex-Bronzefield ladies at her event!!
It was an interesting experience! We met up with Simeon the chaplain, Caroline from education, Nathan one of the officers, the chief finance person, the guy who planned Bronzefield. We were approached by many as the token ex offenders!!
It was an enjoyable evening, with many opportunities to state all the issues faced by prisoners on a daily basis. To be honest both myself and my Scottish friend have very few issues with Bronzefield. The prison offers good work opportunities, good education, officers who treat people fairly, management who make use of prisoner skills and an excellent visitor experience with a family room.
We also met up with ex offenders who were tour operators for the exhibition, and it was lovely to find out later that a twitter friend had been one of the people we had met It wasn't great to watch Prison staff have a freebie on the back of prisoner art...... but I hope the Koestler trust continue their good work. I personally cannot draw or paint or sew to save my life! But I have seen first hand the good that Koestler offers to prisoners.
I bet we are the talk of Bronzefield this week!
I took my son, as always on a Thursday, to his National Theatre Stage Management course. The plan was for us to visit the Reform Exhibition at the Southbank while waiting for him!
http://www.koestlertrust.org.uk/pages/exhibitions.html
My Scottish friend. currently staying down here but still with no permanent decision, came along too!
When we arrived it was closed for a VIP event. Being very disappointed, and also struggling to know what we would spend three hours doing while son was teching, I decided to question what was happening, Spying the Sodexo name badges I was keen to discuss my own experiences at the hands of Sodexo! We ended up being invited into the VIP event by the CEO of Sodeo, Janine McDowell! She was very excited to have two ex-Bronzefield ladies at her event!!
It was an interesting experience! We met up with Simeon the chaplain, Caroline from education, Nathan one of the officers, the chief finance person, the guy who planned Bronzefield. We were approached by many as the token ex offenders!!
It was an enjoyable evening, with many opportunities to state all the issues faced by prisoners on a daily basis. To be honest both myself and my Scottish friend have very few issues with Bronzefield. The prison offers good work opportunities, good education, officers who treat people fairly, management who make use of prisoner skills and an excellent visitor experience with a family room.
We also met up with ex offenders who were tour operators for the exhibition, and it was lovely to find out later that a twitter friend had been one of the people we had met It wasn't great to watch Prison staff have a freebie on the back of prisoner art...... but I hope the Koestler trust continue their good work. I personally cannot draw or paint or sew to save my life! But I have seen first hand the good that Koestler offers to prisoners.
I bet we are the talk of Bronzefield this week!
Alan RIP; my big (little) brother I love you.
It's my brother Alan's birthday tomorrow. He was born in 1966, 3 years 11 months and 17 days before me!! Being a mathematical prodigee, as a child I always quoted these figures!
Sadly I am now older than him. Alan died in September 2008. He died in Darwin Australia, I hadn't seen him in several years. He fell and ruptured his spleen, severely damaged because he was an alcoholic for many many years. He died from internal bleeding.
Alan and I went into care in 1975, we had suffered a very abusive and mixed up childhood. I was 5 and he was 8. We had been through several years with a lack of parental attachment and with parents who were immature, selfish and incapable. We went through a children's home and a short term foster home before being fostered by a very middle class and educated couple in Barnes. Their plan was to mould us into middle class successful individuals. We were both very intelligent, but unfortunately there was no awareness in those days of the emotional harm and attachment issues caused by such an erratic early years experience.
Alan always claimed he never had a childhood. He was so severely damaged by being taken from the parents he loved , albeit completely awful and abusive, that he failed to have any normal adult relationships. Looking at my own autistic spectrum children, and my dad who was obviously on that spectrum, and Alan and my half brothers who are also probably that way inclined, I am not surprised he couldn't manage in society and cope with a normal lifestyle.
Alan was my superhero, my only constant in an erratic and awful childhood... he was my north, my south (as the poem goes) ...
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Alan's life was destroyed by poor parenting and appalling Social Services care in the 1970s and 1980s. He never managed to live a normal life. He was an alcoholic and had such an addictive personality that everything was a struggle
Alan, I love you. xxx
Sadly I am now older than him. Alan died in September 2008. He died in Darwin Australia, I hadn't seen him in several years. He fell and ruptured his spleen, severely damaged because he was an alcoholic for many many years. He died from internal bleeding.
Alan and I went into care in 1975, we had suffered a very abusive and mixed up childhood. I was 5 and he was 8. We had been through several years with a lack of parental attachment and with parents who were immature, selfish and incapable. We went through a children's home and a short term foster home before being fostered by a very middle class and educated couple in Barnes. Their plan was to mould us into middle class successful individuals. We were both very intelligent, but unfortunately there was no awareness in those days of the emotional harm and attachment issues caused by such an erratic early years experience.
Alan always claimed he never had a childhood. He was so severely damaged by being taken from the parents he loved , albeit completely awful and abusive, that he failed to have any normal adult relationships. Looking at my own autistic spectrum children, and my dad who was obviously on that spectrum, and Alan and my half brothers who are also probably that way inclined, I am not surprised he couldn't manage in society and cope with a normal lifestyle.
Alan was my superhero, my only constant in an erratic and awful childhood... he was my north, my south (as the poem goes) ...
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Alan's life was destroyed by poor parenting and appalling Social Services care in the 1970s and 1980s. He never managed to live a normal life. He was an alcoholic and had such an addictive personality that everything was a struggle
Alan, I love you. xxx
Thursday 29 October 2015
Attention!! Autistic Actor Ahead!
Tomorrow is a momentous occasion. My eldest son, 21, has a film casting in London. OK, so he has been to hundreds of castings and auditions, especially between the ages of about 10 and 15. So why is tomorrow such a different experience?
Well, he is actually, for the first time ever, able to go to this casting as himself; an autistic young man.
As a child he was on the books of two very well known and renowned agencies; Sylvia Young's Younguns agency and A&J Management. It was easy for my autistic performer to land a place with these agents. Monologues are a piece of cake for a repetitive mimic; he could copy every single inflection in my voice and learn some quite complex pieces almost parrot fashion. He passed LAMDA exams at Distinction level time and again. Having a musical protegee for a mother, who worked as a musical director, his genetic natural musicality and stunning singing voice meant that the agencies also loved his singing voice.
However, being diagnosed with autism aged three was something we were unable to mention or refer to. The child-performer world is a strange environment. Children are not cast based on their talent.... well, that comes into it, but unfortunately for a young autistic boy, the casting directors look at so many other factors. Which is why he found himself auditioning for, and being recalled for, Gavroche in Les Mis seven times without actually landing the part! Knowing my son, I guess I understand that he probably didn't make eye contact enough, or wasn't sociable enough with the casting team or the other children. But he would have been absolutely perfect in the role, with his ability to repeat the part in exactly the same way time after time, on top of his inside-out knowledge of the role and his belting singing voice. Equally he would have been perfect in Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Sound of Music, all of which he was recalled for several times without actually being cast.
Maybe we should have been able to let them know he was autistic. I do strongly believe that this should not have gone against him..... but sadly it would have. The children's casting directors he saw, who for some reason seem to have a monopoly over every show employing child actors, have a very controlling manner and were incredibly frightening to come up against. If he had been applying to audition as an autistic child he would never have even been offered an audition! These casting directors also have issues with parents, and will ostracise a child performer if they dislike the parent. (there is an article in the Daily Mail written by one of these at: http://tinyurl.com/no4ws9h). I often wonder if those who write the shows, or finance the shows, are aware that some of the best young talent is never considered for a role!
So, all in all it was never an option to discuss his disability and help him through the discrimination to land one of the roles he was born to play.
But tomorrow he is meeting a well known casting director who knows he is autistic and wants to meet him specifically for that reason! He is so excited, and yet he says it feels very odd. For his whole childhood he had to pretend he was something he wasn't, due to the attitudes of the CDs. And pretending you are something you are not is very difficult when you are autistic!
Perhaps I should have fought harder..... but the boost to his self esteem each time he had a West End audition or a tv casting was enough to make me think we were doing the right thing at the time. Unfortunately it backfired later when those same casting directors were unsupportive (and one of them downright vindictive) when it all came out about his autism and also the disabilities of his siblings.
So now we are all completely honest and open. I have a son with autism who is an amazing musical theatre performer and actor. I have a son with Aspergers who is a diploma level musician, an advanced dancer and a stunning MT performer. I have a daughter with chronic anxieties who is an outstanding actress and is studying performing arts. She hopes to go to Drama School next year, and I have a son who is deaf and has Developmental Dyspraxia, who has performed in numerous professional shows, including being a soloist at Glyndebourne, but is now moving into technical theatre. Look out Brit School, he is aiming high!
I am proud of what they have achieved, despite their issues, and I will continue to support them and to raise awareness of the need to fight disability discrimination in the arts.
Break a Leg tomorrow son.... I love you.
(Any casting directors reading this please check out http://www.visablepeople.com/)
Well, he is actually, for the first time ever, able to go to this casting as himself; an autistic young man.
As a child he was on the books of two very well known and renowned agencies; Sylvia Young's Younguns agency and A&J Management. It was easy for my autistic performer to land a place with these agents. Monologues are a piece of cake for a repetitive mimic; he could copy every single inflection in my voice and learn some quite complex pieces almost parrot fashion. He passed LAMDA exams at Distinction level time and again. Having a musical protegee for a mother, who worked as a musical director, his genetic natural musicality and stunning singing voice meant that the agencies also loved his singing voice.
However, being diagnosed with autism aged three was something we were unable to mention or refer to. The child-performer world is a strange environment. Children are not cast based on their talent.... well, that comes into it, but unfortunately for a young autistic boy, the casting directors look at so many other factors. Which is why he found himself auditioning for, and being recalled for, Gavroche in Les Mis seven times without actually landing the part! Knowing my son, I guess I understand that he probably didn't make eye contact enough, or wasn't sociable enough with the casting team or the other children. But he would have been absolutely perfect in the role, with his ability to repeat the part in exactly the same way time after time, on top of his inside-out knowledge of the role and his belting singing voice. Equally he would have been perfect in Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Sound of Music, all of which he was recalled for several times without actually being cast.
Maybe we should have been able to let them know he was autistic. I do strongly believe that this should not have gone against him..... but sadly it would have. The children's casting directors he saw, who for some reason seem to have a monopoly over every show employing child actors, have a very controlling manner and were incredibly frightening to come up against. If he had been applying to audition as an autistic child he would never have even been offered an audition! These casting directors also have issues with parents, and will ostracise a child performer if they dislike the parent. (there is an article in the Daily Mail written by one of these at: http://tinyurl.com/no4ws9h). I often wonder if those who write the shows, or finance the shows, are aware that some of the best young talent is never considered for a role!
So, all in all it was never an option to discuss his disability and help him through the discrimination to land one of the roles he was born to play.
But tomorrow he is meeting a well known casting director who knows he is autistic and wants to meet him specifically for that reason! He is so excited, and yet he says it feels very odd. For his whole childhood he had to pretend he was something he wasn't, due to the attitudes of the CDs. And pretending you are something you are not is very difficult when you are autistic!
Perhaps I should have fought harder..... but the boost to his self esteem each time he had a West End audition or a tv casting was enough to make me think we were doing the right thing at the time. Unfortunately it backfired later when those same casting directors were unsupportive (and one of them downright vindictive) when it all came out about his autism and also the disabilities of his siblings.
So now we are all completely honest and open. I have a son with autism who is an amazing musical theatre performer and actor. I have a son with Aspergers who is a diploma level musician, an advanced dancer and a stunning MT performer. I have a daughter with chronic anxieties who is an outstanding actress and is studying performing arts. She hopes to go to Drama School next year, and I have a son who is deaf and has Developmental Dyspraxia, who has performed in numerous professional shows, including being a soloist at Glyndebourne, but is now moving into technical theatre. Look out Brit School, he is aiming high!
I am proud of what they have achieved, despite their issues, and I will continue to support them and to raise awareness of the need to fight disability discrimination in the arts.
Break a Leg tomorrow son.... I love you.
(Any casting directors reading this please check out http://www.visablepeople.com/)
Monday 21 September 2015
Every Case is Different......
I have concentrated on my Scottish friend rather a lot recently, and that is perfectly understandable as she is in a really dire situation that, unfortunately, is still not resolved. For those who are new to my blog please read my previous posts and let me know if you are able to help at all.
http://outofsync8.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/petrified-and-in-pain-prohibitive.html
All my prayers today are directed towards a resolution before she needs to leave for London tomorrow morning.
*********************************************************************
However, I do not want to appear on here simply as a Probation Basher :-)
I have been home for exactly four months tomorrow. It has been an incredibly stressful, tiring, busy, emotional, unpredictable and erratic time! I landed feet first and running; back to being a full time mum and with a major housing crisis to deal with. I also have children with specific needs which has added some spice to the mix!
Four months later I am in a good place. I have built a good relationship with my Probation Officer, who was originally very wary of me and mistrustful. This made me very wary of her too, especially with my attachment and trust issues. I am pleased to say, though, that we now have a good understanding of each other. I am an incredibly honest person, (often too honest) and have a very strong sense of fairness. Learning to be assertive while inside has really helped me to be very open about how I feel and about how I perceived my PO, and I think this has been an important part of our relationship building.
Housing has been incredibly difficult to deal with as, shortly after arriving home, I found myself and my children to be homeless. This is incredibly common with ex-prisoners, most local councils consider them to be intentionally homeless on release and this is a big reason behind re-offending. We have been living in temporary homeless accommodation, overcrowded and miles away from home, for 3 months, which has been really tough. At times I have wanted to just curl up in a ball and hide. But I have tapped into an amazing inner strength I discovered in prison and we are about to move into our new home, back in our home town and perfect for all the children. Being forced into this housing situation, however, has really strengthened the already impermeable relationship I have with my children. We have become an even closer, even more bonded group and I can only see a positive future for us as a family.
It is really common for prison leavers to struggle to find employment, sometimes for many years. Even though many prisoners leave with armfuls of qualifications and certificates, employers still see the criminal record first and the person second. So I am pleased to say that I have landed a job in the exact industry (social care) that I was aiming for! Not only that, but I was actually headhunted for the role, my musical skills being sought after in this particular area. Being interviewed by an ex probation officer meant a good understanding of what a criminal record actually means and that it was not going to be an issue.
My aims now are to continue moving forward in my personal life, and to continue to move forward with my deep and sincere desire to help change things for other prisoners, ex-offenders and those at risk of offending. I will continue to campaign for prison reform, continue to help bring cases such as my Scottish friend to public attention and continue to do whatever I can to make the lives of others better.
http://outofsync8.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/petrified-and-in-pain-prohibitive.html
All my prayers today are directed towards a resolution before she needs to leave for London tomorrow morning.
*********************************************************************
However, I do not want to appear on here simply as a Probation Basher :-)
I have been home for exactly four months tomorrow. It has been an incredibly stressful, tiring, busy, emotional, unpredictable and erratic time! I landed feet first and running; back to being a full time mum and with a major housing crisis to deal with. I also have children with specific needs which has added some spice to the mix!
Four months later I am in a good place. I have built a good relationship with my Probation Officer, who was originally very wary of me and mistrustful. This made me very wary of her too, especially with my attachment and trust issues. I am pleased to say, though, that we now have a good understanding of each other. I am an incredibly honest person, (often too honest) and have a very strong sense of fairness. Learning to be assertive while inside has really helped me to be very open about how I feel and about how I perceived my PO, and I think this has been an important part of our relationship building.
Housing has been incredibly difficult to deal with as, shortly after arriving home, I found myself and my children to be homeless. This is incredibly common with ex-prisoners, most local councils consider them to be intentionally homeless on release and this is a big reason behind re-offending. We have been living in temporary homeless accommodation, overcrowded and miles away from home, for 3 months, which has been really tough. At times I have wanted to just curl up in a ball and hide. But I have tapped into an amazing inner strength I discovered in prison and we are about to move into our new home, back in our home town and perfect for all the children. Being forced into this housing situation, however, has really strengthened the already impermeable relationship I have with my children. We have become an even closer, even more bonded group and I can only see a positive future for us as a family.
It is really common for prison leavers to struggle to find employment, sometimes for many years. Even though many prisoners leave with armfuls of qualifications and certificates, employers still see the criminal record first and the person second. So I am pleased to say that I have landed a job in the exact industry (social care) that I was aiming for! Not only that, but I was actually headhunted for the role, my musical skills being sought after in this particular area. Being interviewed by an ex probation officer meant a good understanding of what a criminal record actually means and that it was not going to be an issue.
My aims now are to continue moving forward in my personal life, and to continue to move forward with my deep and sincere desire to help change things for other prisoners, ex-offenders and those at risk of offending. I will continue to campaign for prison reform, continue to help bring cases such as my Scottish friend to public attention and continue to do whatever I can to make the lives of others better.
Sunday 20 September 2015
Petrified and in Pain: Prohibitive Probation
Imagine finding out, aged just 49, that you have a heart condition. Imagine finding this out whilst incarcerated in prison, at the mercy of prison medical staff. Healthcare in prison is poor at best, every prisoner considered a hypochondriac who is swinging the lead to get stronger medication or a cushier ride. Imagine that heart condition getting increasingly worse. Imagine all the different medications you have to try just to be able to breathe and get through each day, and imagine how long it takes to actually get each medication when living in prison.
Imagine being taken out of prison to see the specialist while handcuffed to a prison officer. Imagine the fear of facing a potentially lethal condition, day after day on your own, knowing that every night you are locked up alone in a room, unable to summon help if you suffer a stroke or heart attack....
Now, jump forward four years. You have had two non-invasive, but still frightening and painful, procedures to try to solve the problem. Neither has worked. You have exhausted all the medication available. You are at daily risk of a stroke or heart attack and you urgently need a five and a half hour operation which is your last and only chance of a cure.
Imagine finding out you are finally listed for your operation, at your heart specialist's London hospital. Imagine the fear building up as you worry about being under general anaesthetic while parts of your heart are burnt away. But imagine the hope building up when you imagine a healthy future, a future where you can breathe properly, where your heart beats steadily and slowly, where you can once again be a productive member of society, where you can be the partner and family member you have struggled to be, where you can look forward to your wedding planned for next year, knowing you will walk down the aisle fit and strong.
My Scottish friend has her operation booked for Wednesday. It's an urgent operation and so she has been placed high up the list. But, as it stands today, she won't be going.........
She left prison 15 weeks ago. She served her time for a crime that she was manipulated into, that she admits was based on a wrong decision, and she has been a model prisoner. A first time (and only time I am sure) offender she is the lowest risk category. She has no direct victim, it wasn't a violent crime and she has nothing added to her standard licence. Those who have read my blogs will know that she left open prison in June as a textbook rehabilitated prisoner, with a full time job, a car, a partner and a new family. But, 15 weeks later, the Probation Service has managed to take away both her job and her car, and are preventing her continuing her relationship with her new partner. She is also isolated from her only family, who live in London. She is still unemployed and living in homeless accommodation in Scotland, nearly 600 miles from the place and people she considers to be home.
Nobody quite knows why KSS CRC are being so awkward and prohibitive. They still refuse to respond in writing, to communicate effectively with Scottish probation, PAS. the Scottish lady herself or her legal representatives. The local CRC office refuses to make any decisions about transferring her case to England or even about visiting temporarily while having this necessary surgery. They insist such an "unheard of" request to live with another ex-offender has to be considered by a senior officer from the National Probation Service. But there are many, many examples of two ex-offenders on licence living together and marrying without any of this kind of prohibitive and vindictive behaviour from their probation officers. Different agencies working with ex-offenders and also other Probation departments have confirmed this. Nobody can get to the bottom of the KSS CRC decision making. There does not seem to be a ruling or prison law that forbids this. There is nothing in either person's background or behaviour that would forbid this.
Whether or not a higher officer has to make the decision though is not the crux of this matter. The extremely urgent and life threatening issue is that the request for transfer was originally made over three months ago, the paperwork was sent (more than once), the hospital dates were known about, and yet......... still no decision or communication is forthcoming. Imagine how scared you would be about undergoing surgery, and how frightening to still not have confirmation that you can actually attend just three days before!
On Friday the Scottish lady visited her GP. She has been told that the stress caused by Probation's appalling behaviour towards her has massively increased her risk of stroke and/or heart attack. She has now been prescribed Diazepam on top of all the other daily medications she has to take to try to keep a serious heart attack at bay. The GP, who works four days a week in the prison service, has written a supporting letter. In it he states:
"I believe if she went onto a myocardial infarction/heart attack whilst placed on yet another waiting list, the Probation Office could be found medically and legally liable"
This letter has been e-mailed to Scottish Probation, PAS, the solicitor, KSS CRC and the senior officer who is refusing to deal with the situation. Ironically an out-of-office reply came back from that same senior officer, saying she was out of office until 23rd (the date of the operation.......). But for those of you who are technically minded bear this in mind.......
The out of office reply was sent, not as an automated reply, not with alternative contact details, but with a short sentence in it, FIVE HOURS after the email was received!! Slightly suspicious don't you think??
It seems that the Criminal Justice System can behave in any way they please, break any rules they like, make up rules as they go along. But ultimately, this is a human being. They are risking the death of a 53 year old lady, a living breathing human, who has a daughter, a partner, a sister, a niece and nephew, a whole new family.......
I hope they sleep well at night, I know the Scottish lady doesn't.....
Imagine being taken out of prison to see the specialist while handcuffed to a prison officer. Imagine the fear of facing a potentially lethal condition, day after day on your own, knowing that every night you are locked up alone in a room, unable to summon help if you suffer a stroke or heart attack....
Now, jump forward four years. You have had two non-invasive, but still frightening and painful, procedures to try to solve the problem. Neither has worked. You have exhausted all the medication available. You are at daily risk of a stroke or heart attack and you urgently need a five and a half hour operation which is your last and only chance of a cure.
Imagine finding out you are finally listed for your operation, at your heart specialist's London hospital. Imagine the fear building up as you worry about being under general anaesthetic while parts of your heart are burnt away. But imagine the hope building up when you imagine a healthy future, a future where you can breathe properly, where your heart beats steadily and slowly, where you can once again be a productive member of society, where you can be the partner and family member you have struggled to be, where you can look forward to your wedding planned for next year, knowing you will walk down the aisle fit and strong.
My Scottish friend has her operation booked for Wednesday. It's an urgent operation and so she has been placed high up the list. But, as it stands today, she won't be going.........
She left prison 15 weeks ago. She served her time for a crime that she was manipulated into, that she admits was based on a wrong decision, and she has been a model prisoner. A first time (and only time I am sure) offender she is the lowest risk category. She has no direct victim, it wasn't a violent crime and she has nothing added to her standard licence. Those who have read my blogs will know that she left open prison in June as a textbook rehabilitated prisoner, with a full time job, a car, a partner and a new family. But, 15 weeks later, the Probation Service has managed to take away both her job and her car, and are preventing her continuing her relationship with her new partner. She is also isolated from her only family, who live in London. She is still unemployed and living in homeless accommodation in Scotland, nearly 600 miles from the place and people she considers to be home.
Nobody quite knows why KSS CRC are being so awkward and prohibitive. They still refuse to respond in writing, to communicate effectively with Scottish probation, PAS. the Scottish lady herself or her legal representatives. The local CRC office refuses to make any decisions about transferring her case to England or even about visiting temporarily while having this necessary surgery. They insist such an "unheard of" request to live with another ex-offender has to be considered by a senior officer from the National Probation Service. But there are many, many examples of two ex-offenders on licence living together and marrying without any of this kind of prohibitive and vindictive behaviour from their probation officers. Different agencies working with ex-offenders and also other Probation departments have confirmed this. Nobody can get to the bottom of the KSS CRC decision making. There does not seem to be a ruling or prison law that forbids this. There is nothing in either person's background or behaviour that would forbid this.
Whether or not a higher officer has to make the decision though is not the crux of this matter. The extremely urgent and life threatening issue is that the request for transfer was originally made over three months ago, the paperwork was sent (more than once), the hospital dates were known about, and yet......... still no decision or communication is forthcoming. Imagine how scared you would be about undergoing surgery, and how frightening to still not have confirmation that you can actually attend just three days before!
On Friday the Scottish lady visited her GP. She has been told that the stress caused by Probation's appalling behaviour towards her has massively increased her risk of stroke and/or heart attack. She has now been prescribed Diazepam on top of all the other daily medications she has to take to try to keep a serious heart attack at bay. The GP, who works four days a week in the prison service, has written a supporting letter. In it he states:
"I believe if she went onto a myocardial infarction/heart attack whilst placed on yet another waiting list, the Probation Office could be found medically and legally liable"
This letter has been e-mailed to Scottish Probation, PAS, the solicitor, KSS CRC and the senior officer who is refusing to deal with the situation. Ironically an out-of-office reply came back from that same senior officer, saying she was out of office until 23rd (the date of the operation.......). But for those of you who are technically minded bear this in mind.......
The out of office reply was sent, not as an automated reply, not with alternative contact details, but with a short sentence in it, FIVE HOURS after the email was received!! Slightly suspicious don't you think??
It seems that the Criminal Justice System can behave in any way they please, break any rules they like, make up rules as they go along. But ultimately, this is a human being. They are risking the death of a 53 year old lady, a living breathing human, who has a daughter, a partner, a sister, a niece and nephew, a whole new family.......
I hope they sleep well at night, I know the Scottish lady doesn't.....
Thursday 17 September 2015
DWP investigators, Lush and sidekick.....
I write this to the two men in ill fitting suits and without your shirts buttoned up, one of you dirty looking with bad skin, who sat and giggled at the back of court throughout my trial. While the most intrusive and sensitive details about my children were openly discussed, you two thought it was a game. You giggled, smirked and scribbled down comments that you rushed to the prosecutor.
I had to watch as you revelled in inviting the press into the prosecutor's office each morning, where you leaked info to them that not even I or the court had seen or heard yet. You encouraged the media to exaggerate information and your prosecuting barrister manipulated and exaggerated information; ironic really when you were prosecuting me for exaggerating my children's needs......
You delighted in my discomfort, it was your mission to have me convicted even though you knew all the details of my children's hospital visits and diagnosis. You had ripped my life apart, ripped my children's lives apart and all for political gain and a determination to win.
And the reason I write today?
I watched my son today. He is 21. He is autistic. Your conviction changed nothing, in fact it made life harder for him as you took away his support for two years and the only adult he really had a relationship with. He then started to fail, failed the college course we had worked so hard to get him onto and went backwards socially.
I don't understand how you think he can be two different people.You turn down his PIP because he can sing! You seem to believe he is "acting" the part..... that he is pretending to be autistic.
Come and live with him. Stay for a week, a month. I really don't mind. He is 21, he has no friends, he does not socialise. He does not use his facebook..... (it's me who logs in to check it and help him appear capable enough to be asked to do the theatre he loves to do). He does not check his emails.... (yep that's me too). I have to remind him to change his clothes, to wash, I have to unblock the toilet, filled up to the brim every time he has a poo as he cannot deal with toileting very well.
Still think he is acting?
He calls men 'sir' and women 'ma'am' (rhymes with ham lol), because he doesn't recognise people or remember their names, and he thinks this is normal polite behaviour. When you talk to him he has learnt responses, mainly 'point', which he has derived from people saying 'that's a good point', and 'sure'.
He loves trains, he has always been good with trains as you will remember, as you had me convicted over the fact that he took a train to stage school in London every day. He memorised the tube map aged 9. However, he doesn't sit down on trains. He wanders. He roams.
But when we moved recently and there was only a bus we had to do travel training with him. I had to print out colourful easy to read maps of exactly where the bus stops are that he needs. I had to take him to the stop, help him with the bus times, make sure I was there to collect him. 21 remember....Still think he is "normal" and just acting autistic?
He stays in his room probably 95% of the time, coming out for food when he remembers to eat. He's 21 now remember, you can't just call him a normal teenager anymore. The only food he eats is bread and cheese, pasta bolognaise made with exactly the same pasta and mincemeat and a selection of junk food. He drinks endless bottles of diet coke. the bottles and wrappers are discarded in his room. He doesn't just eat one he eats the whole pack. a whole box of jam tarts, a whole box of french fancies.
His only interest is fan fiction which he reads from his phone out loud, using different voices. He reads it very loudly, day and night. He giggles and laughs out loud at it. Still normal and acting? An unsafe witness you called him in your response to his PIP form......
When he is anxious he curls up in a ball, he shakes. He really cannot cope with changes. He shuts himself away. He can explode at the slightest thing.
You claimed he couldn't have become autistic as an adult as it is present from birth. Well yes, I know this as he was diagnosed at 3 and then again at 5 by Linda Souter and Gillian Baird's clinic at Guys. He was statemented from age 4 to 18. Yet you accused me of "conning" these leading experts, conning the education department who statemented him....
The saddest thing is that the jury fell for it. And my defence team was rubbish. TBH at the end of a 6 week trial I was in no fit state to make any decisions, and when the judge wanted it wrapped up so he could go on holiday and my barrister pulled my witnesses I figured he knew what he was doing......I was wrong.
My son is amazing. He can sing like no other, he is truly talented, but that doesn't take away his autism, anxiety, depression, lack of social and language skills. Yes he performs with local am dram, as you quoted in your refusal to award PIP, but go and watch him there. Go and talk to the directors. He doesn't socialise, he doesn't talk, he reads his fan fiction on his phone throughout the rehearsals and shows, but he adores performing as he is good at it and it makes him feel good. So I will NEVER stop him performing just to keep the DWP happy. I see disabled actors and performers every day in the news and on tv. They have not been hounded by false accusations, so why me? Why my son?
He has a lifetime ahead of him where he is really going to struggle. The positive side from you taking me away for two years is that he now has a social worker, an ASD support worker and a psychiatrist who all KNOW he is autistic, support him and are APPALLED at what you put me through, but more at what you put MY SON through.
I will never forgive you. Not for what you did to me, but for the damage you have done to my children.
I had to watch as you revelled in inviting the press into the prosecutor's office each morning, where you leaked info to them that not even I or the court had seen or heard yet. You encouraged the media to exaggerate information and your prosecuting barrister manipulated and exaggerated information; ironic really when you were prosecuting me for exaggerating my children's needs......
You delighted in my discomfort, it was your mission to have me convicted even though you knew all the details of my children's hospital visits and diagnosis. You had ripped my life apart, ripped my children's lives apart and all for political gain and a determination to win.
And the reason I write today?
I watched my son today. He is 21. He is autistic. Your conviction changed nothing, in fact it made life harder for him as you took away his support for two years and the only adult he really had a relationship with. He then started to fail, failed the college course we had worked so hard to get him onto and went backwards socially.
I don't understand how you think he can be two different people.You turn down his PIP because he can sing! You seem to believe he is "acting" the part..... that he is pretending to be autistic.
Come and live with him. Stay for a week, a month. I really don't mind. He is 21, he has no friends, he does not socialise. He does not use his facebook..... (it's me who logs in to check it and help him appear capable enough to be asked to do the theatre he loves to do). He does not check his emails.... (yep that's me too). I have to remind him to change his clothes, to wash, I have to unblock the toilet, filled up to the brim every time he has a poo as he cannot deal with toileting very well.
Still think he is acting?
He calls men 'sir' and women 'ma'am' (rhymes with ham lol), because he doesn't recognise people or remember their names, and he thinks this is normal polite behaviour. When you talk to him he has learnt responses, mainly 'point', which he has derived from people saying 'that's a good point', and 'sure'.
He loves trains, he has always been good with trains as you will remember, as you had me convicted over the fact that he took a train to stage school in London every day. He memorised the tube map aged 9. However, he doesn't sit down on trains. He wanders. He roams.
But when we moved recently and there was only a bus we had to do travel training with him. I had to print out colourful easy to read maps of exactly where the bus stops are that he needs. I had to take him to the stop, help him with the bus times, make sure I was there to collect him. 21 remember....Still think he is "normal" and just acting autistic?
He stays in his room probably 95% of the time, coming out for food when he remembers to eat. He's 21 now remember, you can't just call him a normal teenager anymore. The only food he eats is bread and cheese, pasta bolognaise made with exactly the same pasta and mincemeat and a selection of junk food. He drinks endless bottles of diet coke. the bottles and wrappers are discarded in his room. He doesn't just eat one he eats the whole pack. a whole box of jam tarts, a whole box of french fancies.
His only interest is fan fiction which he reads from his phone out loud, using different voices. He reads it very loudly, day and night. He giggles and laughs out loud at it. Still normal and acting? An unsafe witness you called him in your response to his PIP form......
When he is anxious he curls up in a ball, he shakes. He really cannot cope with changes. He shuts himself away. He can explode at the slightest thing.
You claimed he couldn't have become autistic as an adult as it is present from birth. Well yes, I know this as he was diagnosed at 3 and then again at 5 by Linda Souter and Gillian Baird's clinic at Guys. He was statemented from age 4 to 18. Yet you accused me of "conning" these leading experts, conning the education department who statemented him....
The saddest thing is that the jury fell for it. And my defence team was rubbish. TBH at the end of a 6 week trial I was in no fit state to make any decisions, and when the judge wanted it wrapped up so he could go on holiday and my barrister pulled my witnesses I figured he knew what he was doing......I was wrong.
My son is amazing. He can sing like no other, he is truly talented, but that doesn't take away his autism, anxiety, depression, lack of social and language skills. Yes he performs with local am dram, as you quoted in your refusal to award PIP, but go and watch him there. Go and talk to the directors. He doesn't socialise, he doesn't talk, he reads his fan fiction on his phone throughout the rehearsals and shows, but he adores performing as he is good at it and it makes him feel good. So I will NEVER stop him performing just to keep the DWP happy. I see disabled actors and performers every day in the news and on tv. They have not been hounded by false accusations, so why me? Why my son?
He has a lifetime ahead of him where he is really going to struggle. The positive side from you taking me away for two years is that he now has a social worker, an ASD support worker and a psychiatrist who all KNOW he is autistic, support him and are APPALLED at what you put me through, but more at what you put MY SON through.
I will never forgive you. Not for what you did to me, but for the damage you have done to my children.
The Positives inside the Negativity..... the Pollyanna principle!
Today on Twitter I was asked, by an ex prison officer, why I was so negative about prison and the judicial system. It is hard to be positive about such a dishonest and corrupt establishment that treated me so badly, but I thought I would try to list the positives found in my experience of being wrongly convicted and jailed.
So, positives.......
Being forced into such an alien environment really enabled me to analyse issues and mental health problems that I had spent my life compartmentalising. I was unable to control 'my community' in prison, and so I really struggled with my differences and the many years of low self esteem and attachment problems. My inability to trust, worsened by unforgivable betrayal by the criminal justice system who jailed me for a crime I didn't commit, was something I really had to look into.
So, I guess the positive thing is that I had a lot of time to really self analyse and, at the end of my sentence, after suffering PTSD from the bullying and discrimination in open, to start to talk to health professionals about my screwed up head and emotions. This I am continuing with, even though I am back to being able to control my life and community.
Another positive, probably the biggest one, is the people I met. And I don't mean the staff or officers! I met the most non-judgemental, caring and supportive people amongst the other prisoners. Women's prisons have their share of bullying and nastiness, but on the whole the women join together and form a strong alliance against the establishment. I am still in close contact with ladies I met inside, and I count them among my closest friends ever. I felt supported and cared for, especially in closed conditions.
Two years of free education was another positive. OK, so the education itself is pretty low grade, low level, but I was able to access courses I needed to renew such as First Aid, Equality and Diversity, Health and Safety etc. I have had to pay to do these in the past, so now I have up to date qualifications in the areas I need for my employment, and all for free!
I loved being able to support others. I loved using my skills, abilities and experiences to help other prisoners. From being a Peer Supporter, an Induction Orderly, a Toe by Toe Mentor, to being a Wing Rep, a Catering Rep, Employment Peer supporter, whatever I did inside I did to help others. Although it irritated the establishment (to put it mildly!), I was determined to use my brains for the good and was always there for my fellow inmates to write appeals, look up PSIs, call solicitors, go to hearings, anything I could do to stop people being discriminated against or being treated unfairly (rife in prison)
Unfortunately the negatives far outweigh the positives. It was a time in my life when I realised that I could never trust the very system put there to uphold the law, to be 110% honest and true. If prison is not totally without fault, totally fair and uncorrupt then it is a failure. Prisoners cannot learn honest behaviours when seeing daily dishonesty all around them from those trusted to care for them. In prison a prisoner cannot break the rules without being punished, however those same rules are broken daily by staff....
I now ask for everything in writing when I deal with probation etc. Too many times I have had verbal agreements or whole conversations strenuously denied by officers and staff. And of course they are always believed above the offender because they are 'professionals'
Shall I let you into a little secret?
I was in prison with MANY professionals! A judge, a police superintendent, police officers, prison officers, accountants, solicitors, teachers..... the list goes on.
The system needs to stop blindly accepting the word of POs, Governors, Offender Managers, police officers, barristers etc simply because they are professionals.
Prison is not working. Within the women's estate there is a lack of rehabilitation, a lack of real support for women leaving prison, a lack of understanding of the very different issues faced by women, often separated from children who are then cruelly removed into the care system.
It is understaffed, underfunded, filled with many low ability staff who really don't care anymore as morale is rock bottom. I did meet some good officers. They relished the chance to sit and chat with a prisoner who had awareness of politics and current affairs, they would often unload on me all the issues within the service and within their jobs. In particular there was a fantastic union rep in one establishment. He told me many things about the realities. I am sure he would be in a lot of trouble with the establishment if they knew!
Change needs to happen from the inside. But HMP hates an intelligent prisoner who points out the faults in their system. Especially when that prisoner can also tell them how to change the faults and make it work! But instead of feeling affronted and threatened, HMP should make use of these skills, freely and happily offered by a keen and active percentage of the prison population. A group of us really did try to change things for the better, but were belittled and put down at every opportunity. So it is really down to the staff on the inside to work at changing things for the better, and I will continue to fight from the outside.
So, positives.......
Being forced into such an alien environment really enabled me to analyse issues and mental health problems that I had spent my life compartmentalising. I was unable to control 'my community' in prison, and so I really struggled with my differences and the many years of low self esteem and attachment problems. My inability to trust, worsened by unforgivable betrayal by the criminal justice system who jailed me for a crime I didn't commit, was something I really had to look into.
So, I guess the positive thing is that I had a lot of time to really self analyse and, at the end of my sentence, after suffering PTSD from the bullying and discrimination in open, to start to talk to health professionals about my screwed up head and emotions. This I am continuing with, even though I am back to being able to control my life and community.
Another positive, probably the biggest one, is the people I met. And I don't mean the staff or officers! I met the most non-judgemental, caring and supportive people amongst the other prisoners. Women's prisons have their share of bullying and nastiness, but on the whole the women join together and form a strong alliance against the establishment. I am still in close contact with ladies I met inside, and I count them among my closest friends ever. I felt supported and cared for, especially in closed conditions.
Two years of free education was another positive. OK, so the education itself is pretty low grade, low level, but I was able to access courses I needed to renew such as First Aid, Equality and Diversity, Health and Safety etc. I have had to pay to do these in the past, so now I have up to date qualifications in the areas I need for my employment, and all for free!
I loved being able to support others. I loved using my skills, abilities and experiences to help other prisoners. From being a Peer Supporter, an Induction Orderly, a Toe by Toe Mentor, to being a Wing Rep, a Catering Rep, Employment Peer supporter, whatever I did inside I did to help others. Although it irritated the establishment (to put it mildly!), I was determined to use my brains for the good and was always there for my fellow inmates to write appeals, look up PSIs, call solicitors, go to hearings, anything I could do to stop people being discriminated against or being treated unfairly (rife in prison)
Unfortunately the negatives far outweigh the positives. It was a time in my life when I realised that I could never trust the very system put there to uphold the law, to be 110% honest and true. If prison is not totally without fault, totally fair and uncorrupt then it is a failure. Prisoners cannot learn honest behaviours when seeing daily dishonesty all around them from those trusted to care for them. In prison a prisoner cannot break the rules without being punished, however those same rules are broken daily by staff....
I now ask for everything in writing when I deal with probation etc. Too many times I have had verbal agreements or whole conversations strenuously denied by officers and staff. And of course they are always believed above the offender because they are 'professionals'
Shall I let you into a little secret?
I was in prison with MANY professionals! A judge, a police superintendent, police officers, prison officers, accountants, solicitors, teachers..... the list goes on.
The system needs to stop blindly accepting the word of POs, Governors, Offender Managers, police officers, barristers etc simply because they are professionals.
Prison is not working. Within the women's estate there is a lack of rehabilitation, a lack of real support for women leaving prison, a lack of understanding of the very different issues faced by women, often separated from children who are then cruelly removed into the care system.
It is understaffed, underfunded, filled with many low ability staff who really don't care anymore as morale is rock bottom. I did meet some good officers. They relished the chance to sit and chat with a prisoner who had awareness of politics and current affairs, they would often unload on me all the issues within the service and within their jobs. In particular there was a fantastic union rep in one establishment. He told me many things about the realities. I am sure he would be in a lot of trouble with the establishment if they knew!
Change needs to happen from the inside. But HMP hates an intelligent prisoner who points out the faults in their system. Especially when that prisoner can also tell them how to change the faults and make it work! But instead of feeling affronted and threatened, HMP should make use of these skills, freely and happily offered by a keen and active percentage of the prison population. A group of us really did try to change things for the better, but were belittled and put down at every opportunity. So it is really down to the staff on the inside to work at changing things for the better, and I will continue to fight from the outside.
Wednesday 16 September 2015
Attachment Disorder... the reality for me
I have attachment disorder. I guess I have known this for about 3 or 4 years. It wasn't something I had ever heard of. But having a partner with a brain as well as medical training, who worked in school nursing and health visiting, plus my studying on a Health and Social Care Diploma all brought this condition to my attention!
Prison, and its corruptness and unfairness, really screwed with my head! When I was bullied by staff in open prison I really started to look at myself. I couldn't understand why these people were so spiteful and vindictive...
I recently had a full assessment at an autism diagnostic clinic... with 3 children diagnosed on the autistic spectrum and others with traits, plus a Dad and brothers with obvious traits, I was convinced that all my many issues were simply down to autism....But it seems that, although I do have many autistic traits, my actual diagnosis is attachment disorder and personality development disorder.
Attachment disorder is described as a behavioural disorder caused by the lack of an emotionally secure attachment to a care-giver in the early years of life, characterized by an inability to form healthy relationships.
Last year I contacted Hounslow Social Services for a copy of all my records while under their care from 1975 to 1987. I wanted these because I couldn't remember a lot of my childhood (blanked out) and I was struggling with my own self analytical ways. I had previously tried this about 15 years ago, and they had contacted my mother who had kicked off and made a fuss. So I didn't get them at that time. But, to be honest, I don't think I had the maturity to deal with it then. I have read these two thick folders cover to cover and it is not nice reading. I was a neglected and emotionally, sexually and physically abused, child. Social services in the main allowed this. There are so many references to my basic needs not being met, but being 1970s/1980s nothing was done.
My mother abandoned me as a very young child. My father tried his best but also failed. My mother then went on to abandon me as an adult. My father built a relationship of sorts with me but died very young.
So i am now 45. I appear, outwardly, as an articulate capable person. I have 8 children. They have various disabilities, but they are achieving as much as they possibly can. I have made sure of that, you see attachment disorder makes you have very low self esteem and a need to prove yourself all the time. You struggle with the idea that others may perceive you as failing.
I am 45, I have lived in many places. Yet I don't really have any friends. I struggle to even remember people i knew in my past. Other parents at school, neighbours, workmates. All forgotten. I never manage to maintain relationships. I just don't understand them. I think I irritate people and push them away because I can't do shallow platitudes. I need to know the person REALLY cares. Because I really care, because I take an interest. I can't trust. If I do trust, then I expect complete devotion. I really struggle with people's shallow attitudes.
Yet I really care for people. I care above and beyond. I remember everything they tell me, i take notice of their lives. I have huge empathy and can't bear people hurting. But i struggle with rejection. I struggle with dishonesty. I struggle with other adults not caring, I struggle with anyone caring for me or loving me.
I have maybe two or three friends. They are either on the spectrum or have children that way! When on the spectrum you don't need shallow platitudes. Maybe that is why the relationship works
"Unresolved childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or overly clingy. Attachment problems are often handed down transgenerationally unless someone breaks the chain. As a parent, an insecurely attached adult may lack the ability to form a strong attachment to their child and provide the necessary attachment cues required for the healthy emotional development of the child thereby predisposing their child to a lifetime of relationship difficulties.
One day I hope to make friends. One day I hope to feel good about myself. One day I hope to be able to deal with my childhood
I am going for counselling now.
Prison, and its corruptness and unfairness, really screwed with my head! When I was bullied by staff in open prison I really started to look at myself. I couldn't understand why these people were so spiteful and vindictive...
I recently had a full assessment at an autism diagnostic clinic... with 3 children diagnosed on the autistic spectrum and others with traits, plus a Dad and brothers with obvious traits, I was convinced that all my many issues were simply down to autism....But it seems that, although I do have many autistic traits, my actual diagnosis is attachment disorder and personality development disorder.
Attachment disorder is described as a behavioural disorder caused by the lack of an emotionally secure attachment to a care-giver in the early years of life, characterized by an inability to form healthy relationships.
Last year I contacted Hounslow Social Services for a copy of all my records while under their care from 1975 to 1987. I wanted these because I couldn't remember a lot of my childhood (blanked out) and I was struggling with my own self analytical ways. I had previously tried this about 15 years ago, and they had contacted my mother who had kicked off and made a fuss. So I didn't get them at that time. But, to be honest, I don't think I had the maturity to deal with it then. I have read these two thick folders cover to cover and it is not nice reading. I was a neglected and emotionally, sexually and physically abused, child. Social services in the main allowed this. There are so many references to my basic needs not being met, but being 1970s/1980s nothing was done.
My mother abandoned me as a very young child. My father tried his best but also failed. My mother then went on to abandon me as an adult. My father built a relationship of sorts with me but died very young.
So i am now 45. I appear, outwardly, as an articulate capable person. I have 8 children. They have various disabilities, but they are achieving as much as they possibly can. I have made sure of that, you see attachment disorder makes you have very low self esteem and a need to prove yourself all the time. You struggle with the idea that others may perceive you as failing.
I am 45, I have lived in many places. Yet I don't really have any friends. I struggle to even remember people i knew in my past. Other parents at school, neighbours, workmates. All forgotten. I never manage to maintain relationships. I just don't understand them. I think I irritate people and push them away because I can't do shallow platitudes. I need to know the person REALLY cares. Because I really care, because I take an interest. I can't trust. If I do trust, then I expect complete devotion. I really struggle with people's shallow attitudes.
Yet I really care for people. I care above and beyond. I remember everything they tell me, i take notice of their lives. I have huge empathy and can't bear people hurting. But i struggle with rejection. I struggle with dishonesty. I struggle with other adults not caring, I struggle with anyone caring for me or loving me.
I have maybe two or three friends. They are either on the spectrum or have children that way! When on the spectrum you don't need shallow platitudes. Maybe that is why the relationship works
"Unresolved childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or overly clingy. Attachment problems are often handed down transgenerationally unless someone breaks the chain. As a parent, an insecurely attached adult may lack the ability to form a strong attachment to their child and provide the necessary attachment cues required for the healthy emotional development of the child thereby predisposing their child to a lifetime of relationship difficulties.
One day I hope to make friends. One day I hope to feel good about myself. One day I hope to be able to deal with my childhood
I am going for counselling now.
Saturday 12 September 2015
12 weeks forwards...5 1/2 years back....
Prison is all about rehabilitation right?........
So, my Scottish friend....she spent 5 1/2 years inside. She did every course available and more. She earned level 3 plus qualifications in Counselling, PTLLS, Advice and Guidance, Media etc...... alongside all the mundane level 1 and 2 courses that OMU demands you do..She had a full time job, a car, a new relationship and family in Southern England. Indeed, a perfect example of rehabilitation in its best form!
So, you might think, she is set up for her release on licence...
Well, 3 months later she is still languishing in homeless accommodation in Scotland. Despite request after request being sent into the probation service in Sussex, absolutely nothing has changed. And it's not for the want of trying. Scottish probation, to be fair, has tried its hardest. But for some reason, unknown to anybody except those involved in Sussex, they are being incredibly vindictive, awkward, prohibitive, difficult and obstructive. ( I am being tame with my choice of vocabulary here!)
The new privatised Community Rehabilitation Company refuses to respond to e-mails and phone calls. It changes the boundaries as it feels fit. It refuses to put anything in writing, refuses to answer questions. And now the KSS CRC has decided they need to go to someone high up in the NPS (National Probation Service) in order to decide if they can take on the case of this incredibly low risk, one time offender who was completely rehabilitated. You would think in these times of "payment by results" they would jump at the chance of a guaranteed success story!
Scottish Probation are bewildered. They quote an example of an incredibly high risk repeat offender released into their care recently. He needed to be with family in Liverpool. The request was sent one day, approved straight away and he was off to Liverpool within 48 hours. So why, you might ask, is this lady still sitting homeless, jobless, friendless and familyless in Scotland?
The only conclusion that seems probable is one of discrimination. You see, her new partner is female. Ok, Ok, I know that is irrelevant..... but is it? There is no reason at all for not allowing her to move back to England. Nothing in her past or in her behaviour. So this leads to the assumption that somebody seems to have a homophobic issue....
Until they put something in writing this poor lady is stuck. She has a serious heart operation booked in London in 10 days time. She needs to be down in the area next Wednesday for pre op appointments. The CRC are still refusing to respond, and they need to give her permission to stay at the local address supplied to them months ago. Her GP has now stated grave concerns at her risk of stroke or heart attack. Her stress levels are such that he has prescribed Diazepam.
Two different legal teams are now involved. They too have not managed to get any response in writing. Appealing decisions that are verbal or invisible is impossible. And it seems that the CRC know this.There seems to be nowhere to go for help. The very people who are given the job of caring for ex offenders are seemingly unable to do their job. All it takes is a controlling and manipulative probation officer and somebody's life can be completely destroyed. Another example of the 'wonderful' British justice system.......
So, my Scottish friend....she spent 5 1/2 years inside. She did every course available and more. She earned level 3 plus qualifications in Counselling, PTLLS, Advice and Guidance, Media etc...... alongside all the mundane level 1 and 2 courses that OMU demands you do..She had a full time job, a car, a new relationship and family in Southern England. Indeed, a perfect example of rehabilitation in its best form!
So, you might think, she is set up for her release on licence...
Well, 3 months later she is still languishing in homeless accommodation in Scotland. Despite request after request being sent into the probation service in Sussex, absolutely nothing has changed. And it's not for the want of trying. Scottish probation, to be fair, has tried its hardest. But for some reason, unknown to anybody except those involved in Sussex, they are being incredibly vindictive, awkward, prohibitive, difficult and obstructive. ( I am being tame with my choice of vocabulary here!)
The new privatised Community Rehabilitation Company refuses to respond to e-mails and phone calls. It changes the boundaries as it feels fit. It refuses to put anything in writing, refuses to answer questions. And now the KSS CRC has decided they need to go to someone high up in the NPS (National Probation Service) in order to decide if they can take on the case of this incredibly low risk, one time offender who was completely rehabilitated. You would think in these times of "payment by results" they would jump at the chance of a guaranteed success story!
Scottish Probation are bewildered. They quote an example of an incredibly high risk repeat offender released into their care recently. He needed to be with family in Liverpool. The request was sent one day, approved straight away and he was off to Liverpool within 48 hours. So why, you might ask, is this lady still sitting homeless, jobless, friendless and familyless in Scotland?
The only conclusion that seems probable is one of discrimination. You see, her new partner is female. Ok, Ok, I know that is irrelevant..... but is it? There is no reason at all for not allowing her to move back to England. Nothing in her past or in her behaviour. So this leads to the assumption that somebody seems to have a homophobic issue....
Until they put something in writing this poor lady is stuck. She has a serious heart operation booked in London in 10 days time. She needs to be down in the area next Wednesday for pre op appointments. The CRC are still refusing to respond, and they need to give her permission to stay at the local address supplied to them months ago. Her GP has now stated grave concerns at her risk of stroke or heart attack. Her stress levels are such that he has prescribed Diazepam.
Two different legal teams are now involved. They too have not managed to get any response in writing. Appealing decisions that are verbal or invisible is impossible. And it seems that the CRC know this.There seems to be nowhere to go for help. The very people who are given the job of caring for ex offenders are seemingly unable to do their job. All it takes is a controlling and manipulative probation officer and somebody's life can be completely destroyed. Another example of the 'wonderful' British justice system.......
Sunday 12 July 2015
Licence to Kill…. (or suicide on HMP licence)
My very best friend in the world tried to kill herself on Monday
This wasn’t a cry for help or attention seeking; she didn’t tell anyone. She just calmly and quietly took a huge overdose of amitriptyline. If you google this drug you will see it is commonly referred to on suicide websites as a fool proof method…
By pure luck, or maybe divine intervention, I decided to phone her as she had sent a text that evening that just seemed odd. When I called she was already pretty incoherent and very out of breath. As she also has AF (a heart rhythm disorder associated with deadly and debilitating consequences including heart failure, stroke, poor mental health, reduced quality of life and death), hearing how breathless she was really made me panic. I then called 999 and managed to organise emergency services in Scotland to go to her rescue. She ended up in ICU on a ventilator. And thankfully she is still alive, still unhappy, but alive and hopefully moving forward.
Ok, so you may have guessed now that this is the same lady abandoned by probation, her MP, the prison service, the judicial system up in Scotland on her own.
She told them over and over and over about her poor mental health. This is a strong capable woman who has never been suicidal or suffered such severe depression. Even throughout her 5 years in prison she had never felt as hopeless and isolated as she does now, left to rot in homeless accommodation 500 miles away from her support network. She told her probation officer, she told the housing people, she told a local GP….. but nobody really cared. By Monday evening, four weeks on from being forced back to Scotland, she could not see any future and decided she could not wake up again to another day abandoned, isolated, jobless and homeless.
There has been some interesting research done on suicides amongst newly released prisoners. http://community.nicic.gov/blogs/mentalhealth/archive/2012/07/16/suicide-risk-factors-among-recently-released-prisoners.aspx
In my opinion, after release from prison your life should be getting better! However, everything is put in the way to make life harder. Getting a job is often impossible as employers cannot see beyond that tick box for an unspent conviction; housing departments often label people released from prison as intentionally homeless therefore removing the possibility of secure housing; benefits are slow to be paid and nothing is given for the first 7 days after release; family are often angry or hurt and may not support the ex-offender…..
So much more work needs to be put into supporting ex-prisoners, especially in the weeks before release so that the situation that has happened with my friend in Scotland can never happen again. The sentence meted by society has been served and we must see these people as members of our society who are equally entitled to help and support in all areas. Probation departments need to stop addressing “protecting the public and reducing reoffending” in such an uncaring and unhelpful way. The best way to reduce risk and reoffending is to ensure a good quality of life for released prisoners with ongoing support to secure housing, employment and a future.
This wasn’t a cry for help or attention seeking; she didn’t tell anyone. She just calmly and quietly took a huge overdose of amitriptyline. If you google this drug you will see it is commonly referred to on suicide websites as a fool proof method…
By pure luck, or maybe divine intervention, I decided to phone her as she had sent a text that evening that just seemed odd. When I called she was already pretty incoherent and very out of breath. As she also has AF (a heart rhythm disorder associated with deadly and debilitating consequences including heart failure, stroke, poor mental health, reduced quality of life and death), hearing how breathless she was really made me panic. I then called 999 and managed to organise emergency services in Scotland to go to her rescue. She ended up in ICU on a ventilator. And thankfully she is still alive, still unhappy, but alive and hopefully moving forward.
Ok, so you may have guessed now that this is the same lady abandoned by probation, her MP, the prison service, the judicial system up in Scotland on her own.
She told them over and over and over about her poor mental health. This is a strong capable woman who has never been suicidal or suffered such severe depression. Even throughout her 5 years in prison she had never felt as hopeless and isolated as she does now, left to rot in homeless accommodation 500 miles away from her support network. She told her probation officer, she told the housing people, she told a local GP….. but nobody really cared. By Monday evening, four weeks on from being forced back to Scotland, she could not see any future and decided she could not wake up again to another day abandoned, isolated, jobless and homeless.
There has been some interesting research done on suicides amongst newly released prisoners. http://community.nicic.gov/blogs/mentalhealth/archive/2012/07/16/suicide-risk-factors-among-recently-released-prisoners.aspx
In my opinion, after release from prison your life should be getting better! However, everything is put in the way to make life harder. Getting a job is often impossible as employers cannot see beyond that tick box for an unspent conviction; housing departments often label people released from prison as intentionally homeless therefore removing the possibility of secure housing; benefits are slow to be paid and nothing is given for the first 7 days after release; family are often angry or hurt and may not support the ex-offender…..
So much more work needs to be put into supporting ex-prisoners, especially in the weeks before release so that the situation that has happened with my friend in Scotland can never happen again. The sentence meted by society has been served and we must see these people as members of our society who are equally entitled to help and support in all areas. Probation departments need to stop addressing “protecting the public and reducing reoffending” in such an uncaring and unhelpful way. The best way to reduce risk and reoffending is to ensure a good quality of life for released prisoners with ongoing support to secure housing, employment and a future.
The Grayling Book Ban….
I don’t think anybody outside prison, and especially the media, has
portrayed this book ban accurately, and it really frustrated me when I
was incarcerated that I couldn’t respond to the news articles or
televsion and radio debates about it. This is because there is a ban on
prisoners contacting the media…….. hmm I wonder why! Now that would be
dangerous to the powers that be!
In prison there is a behaviour modification system, very like a merit system you get in schools. It is called the IEP system which stands for Incentives and Earned Priviliges. The idea (which doesn’t work) is that naughty prisoners (and I use the term naughty as you are treated like a child in prison) will stop being naughty if given positive and negative IEPs. In prison slang an IEP is the piece of paper handed to you, usually for a negative issue, stating what you did wrong this time! There are also positive IEPs but these are pretty rarely handed out. Some shameless souls blatantly ask for these when trying to gain enhanced status, or just when trying to creep up to the offiers. “Ive put the bins out, can I have a positive IEP?”, that kind of thing! Prison isn’t very good at positive reinforcement, but very good at blame and shame and even better at getting it wrong… The threat of an IEP is used all the time inside, and you become completely desensitised to being told off or punished as it is constant.
Negative IEPS are rarely fairly given and getting three of them leads to being downgraded to BASIC for 28 days. As the lady who fought the book ban once said to me;…. “you cannot even have normal behaviours in prison, the boundaries of right and wrong are twisted and impossible to understand, and it is impossible to learn which normal big wide world behaviours are actually allowed inside!” (thanks Barbara Gordon-Jones 2015)
In November 2013 a new PSI came in changing the IEP system. Until this time a prisoner could have items on the prison facility list handed in or sent in to prison every 3 months. Now, all you Daily Mail readers can stop right there! The facilities list is scrutinised by every individual governor and there is hardly anything on there. Yes, you can have a playstation, but only when enhanced, and only a very basic one. And usually the prisoner ends up buying it themselves by saving from their £10 a week wages! Mainly the items are clothes and some hobby items and also of course books! The full list is available here: http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.justice.gov.uk%2Fdownloads%2Foffenders%2Fpsipso%2Fpsi-2013%2Fpsi-30-2013-1.doc&ei=x6GGVcHxIoiS7AbV5pvQBA&usg=AFQjCNECYpkxf5lbCJXgeXBGjUsFjXZ_jw&sig2=UGwIxR2pxJOGaK08Kmy1-w&bvm=bv.96339352,d.ZGU
Thanks to Mr Grayling’s desire to make prison life harder….. (more on that in another blog…) the new IEP ruling stopped ALL items being sent in or handed in. So he didn’t ban prisoners getting books…. he banned prisoners getting anything! His theory behind this was that it would encourage better behaviour from prisoners and that they themselves would work harder and save up to buy their own items; items which can only be bought from specific suppliers.
Sounds lovely in theory doesn’t it? Well, in my last establishment you earned £11.05 a week. £1 a week pays for television, a small dodgy portable wth 8 freeview channels. No, Ms Daily Mail reader, we do not have sky tv in prison! Plus if you are locked in a small room on your own year after year, sometimes for 23 hours a day, then a rubbish tv isn’t really a luxury….So that leaves £10 a week, and if you smoke (which I don’t luckily) about £8 a week goes on tobacco. Not to mention the extortionate telehone charges, the £2 you have left would only pay for a maximum of 20 minutes off peak to a land line. So where on earth can you save? Yes a prisoner can have money sent in, and this is where the IEP scheme kicks in. An enhanced prisoner can have £25.50 a week, whereas a standard prisoner only has £15.50, and a BASIC prisoner even less. But, in my experience, a lot of ladies didn’t have anybody able to send in money, so this bribery from the government was completely useless!!
So, back to the book ban. With no hand-ins happening anymore, prisoners could no longer get new books. Although there are libraries, these do not cater for everyone, the books are old and often there is no allotted time to actually access it, especially with the current staffing shortages. For those studying at advanced levels, open university for example, the new PSIs meant they couldn’t get extra material sent in for their courses.
The wonderful Barbara Gordon Jones took a stand and took her fight to court…. and, as you all know, Grayling’s book ban was ruled unlawful. But….. did the prison service give in gracefully?? No of course not! Instead of allowing relatives to send any books in they want, for example my family buy from charity shops a lot as we have little funds, they decided to only allow books from recommended suppliers….. and, you have guessed it, these are expensive and not always easy to access. There is the added issue of the extortionate amount of time it takes in most establishments to actually get the item to the prisoner…..Plus there is a limit on how many books are allowed in a prisoner’s cell….12! So, in a way the book ban was overturned, but, as always, the powers that be found another way to stay in control.
In prison there is a behaviour modification system, very like a merit system you get in schools. It is called the IEP system which stands for Incentives and Earned Priviliges. The idea (which doesn’t work) is that naughty prisoners (and I use the term naughty as you are treated like a child in prison) will stop being naughty if given positive and negative IEPs. In prison slang an IEP is the piece of paper handed to you, usually for a negative issue, stating what you did wrong this time! There are also positive IEPs but these are pretty rarely handed out. Some shameless souls blatantly ask for these when trying to gain enhanced status, or just when trying to creep up to the offiers. “Ive put the bins out, can I have a positive IEP?”, that kind of thing! Prison isn’t very good at positive reinforcement, but very good at blame and shame and even better at getting it wrong… The threat of an IEP is used all the time inside, and you become completely desensitised to being told off or punished as it is constant.
Negative IEPS are rarely fairly given and getting three of them leads to being downgraded to BASIC for 28 days. As the lady who fought the book ban once said to me;…. “you cannot even have normal behaviours in prison, the boundaries of right and wrong are twisted and impossible to understand, and it is impossible to learn which normal big wide world behaviours are actually allowed inside!” (thanks Barbara Gordon-Jones 2015)
In November 2013 a new PSI came in changing the IEP system. Until this time a prisoner could have items on the prison facility list handed in or sent in to prison every 3 months. Now, all you Daily Mail readers can stop right there! The facilities list is scrutinised by every individual governor and there is hardly anything on there. Yes, you can have a playstation, but only when enhanced, and only a very basic one. And usually the prisoner ends up buying it themselves by saving from their £10 a week wages! Mainly the items are clothes and some hobby items and also of course books! The full list is available here: http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.justice.gov.uk%2Fdownloads%2Foffenders%2Fpsipso%2Fpsi-2013%2Fpsi-30-2013-1.doc&ei=x6GGVcHxIoiS7AbV5pvQBA&usg=AFQjCNECYpkxf5lbCJXgeXBGjUsFjXZ_jw&sig2=UGwIxR2pxJOGaK08Kmy1-w&bvm=bv.96339352,d.ZGU
Thanks to Mr Grayling’s desire to make prison life harder….. (more on that in another blog…) the new IEP ruling stopped ALL items being sent in or handed in. So he didn’t ban prisoners getting books…. he banned prisoners getting anything! His theory behind this was that it would encourage better behaviour from prisoners and that they themselves would work harder and save up to buy their own items; items which can only be bought from specific suppliers.
Sounds lovely in theory doesn’t it? Well, in my last establishment you earned £11.05 a week. £1 a week pays for television, a small dodgy portable wth 8 freeview channels. No, Ms Daily Mail reader, we do not have sky tv in prison! Plus if you are locked in a small room on your own year after year, sometimes for 23 hours a day, then a rubbish tv isn’t really a luxury….So that leaves £10 a week, and if you smoke (which I don’t luckily) about £8 a week goes on tobacco. Not to mention the extortionate telehone charges, the £2 you have left would only pay for a maximum of 20 minutes off peak to a land line. So where on earth can you save? Yes a prisoner can have money sent in, and this is where the IEP scheme kicks in. An enhanced prisoner can have £25.50 a week, whereas a standard prisoner only has £15.50, and a BASIC prisoner even less. But, in my experience, a lot of ladies didn’t have anybody able to send in money, so this bribery from the government was completely useless!!
So, back to the book ban. With no hand-ins happening anymore, prisoners could no longer get new books. Although there are libraries, these do not cater for everyone, the books are old and often there is no allotted time to actually access it, especially with the current staffing shortages. For those studying at advanced levels, open university for example, the new PSIs meant they couldn’t get extra material sent in for their courses.
The wonderful Barbara Gordon Jones took a stand and took her fight to court…. and, as you all know, Grayling’s book ban was ruled unlawful. But….. did the prison service give in gracefully?? No of course not! Instead of allowing relatives to send any books in they want, for example my family buy from charity shops a lot as we have little funds, they decided to only allow books from recommended suppliers….. and, you have guessed it, these are expensive and not always easy to access. There is the added issue of the extortionate amount of time it takes in most establishments to actually get the item to the prisoner…..Plus there is a limit on how many books are allowed in a prisoner’s cell….12! So, in a way the book ban was overturned, but, as always, the powers that be found another way to stay in control.
Does the punishment fit the crime
Just as an addition to my blog today and to my comments about the lady who got 16 months for drink driving……
Daily Mirror 20/06/2015
A banned driver who mowed down and killed a couple with 15 children has been jailed for 16 months.
Mobein Ali (20) was seen driving at excessive speed for wet and windy conditions as he appeared to try and beat the lights.
He hit dad of 10 Michael and mum of 5 Paula in Manchester in December.
He admitted causing death by dangerous driving
Same sentence……
Fair judicial system……..???
I will let you decide
Daily Mirror 20/06/2015
A banned driver who mowed down and killed a couple with 15 children has been jailed for 16 months.
Mobein Ali (20) was seen driving at excessive speed for wet and windy conditions as he appeared to try and beat the lights.
He hit dad of 10 Michael and mum of 5 Paula in Manchester in December.
He admitted causing death by dangerous driving
Same sentence……
Fair judicial system……..???
I will let you decide
Aftercare and Support……actually just “after”..
I was woken at 5.45am by a phone call. It’s Saturday morning and I
thought it was my alarm going off as my daughter is off on a scout hike
first thing.At the other end of the phone was one of my prison-community
friends. She was feeling suicidal and was sat in a stream in her
dressing gown, needing to rant and have some support….
When you are sentenced, for most crimes, you spend half your sentence in prison and half on licence in the community, supported (i say this loosely) by the probation service, or actually often now by the new privately run community rehabilitation companies or CRCs! Their job, as my very own personal member of the service keeps telling me, is firstly to protect the public from us terrible, awful, scary, dangerous convicts, and secondly to prevent us reoffending….. if for any reason we cock up in any way at all we are recalled straight back to camp! However, there seems to be no requirement at all for the authorites to actually help you to achieve a trouble free time on licence in any way, shape or form!
My friend who called me at dawn today is one of so many ladies I know who are out on license and feeling totally unsupported and lost and forgotten. The punishment of prison is the loss of freedom; the loss of the control of your own life and decisions for a set period of time. Yet all of us who have been convicted of a crime (I won’t say ‘committted’ a crime, as many people are unfairly or wrongly convicted every year, in fact latest figures show 4 appeals against conviction being won every single week…. that is four people too many who have suffered in prison as an innocent) suffer far beyond the prison gates. I myself am about to be homeless. After two years struggling to keep my children stable, and succeeding, I have returned home to a total lack of any housing help whatsoever, a lack of any money or financial support (my children’s tax credits are going to take five weeks to come through), no car, no job and a probation officer who signposts, tells me I am doing all the right things and keeps reminding me not to re-offend! Well, I tell her I won’t offend, as re-offending makes the assumption of an original crime and there simply wasn’t one in my case!!
Let me tell you about just two ladies, both on license and both first time offenders who are low risk.
My friend who called me today did so for the second time in two weeks, The last occasion was at about 2am when again she was feeling unable to cope. In prison she was one of my gym buddies and one of the few people I met on the same wavelength. She went into prison for a relatively minor offence (drink driving), not to be condoned, but one that most men (or famous/rich people with a good barrister) would get a community order for. She was given a 16 month sentence, so she would have been due to serve 8 months in prison and leave after the first 4 months to be on HDC (home detention curfew or tag). This is the same sentence that the judge Constance Briscoe was given for perverting the course of justice, and she left on HDC on exactly the right day..! ( I know this as I was there!). When my unhappy friend sat her HDC board she was told she had to do a course before she could leave. As always, this was just thrown at her the week before her children expected her back home and four months after arriving in prison. Standard prison service behaviour. This course was RAPT (Rehabilitation for Addicted Prisoner’s Trust) due to alcohol being part of her crime. This is an onsite rehab for those in serious addictions. The course which uses the 12 steps, lasts from 4 to 6 months, full time, living and working and sleeping and eating with other addicts and away from the main prison population. Totally unsuitable for a one time offender without an addiction and a waste of taxpayers money. There are so many women desperately waiting to get onto this treatment and deal with their very long term addictive behaviours. So she refused and had to spend twice as long inside, away from her partner and two lovely boys.
An intelligent and assertive lady, after refusing the course, which she was entitled to do, she then spent the last four months being picked on and tripped up wherever possible by staff and was frequently put on BASIC and Cellular Confinement, stopping her from being able to talk to others and from going to the gym which was her only mental health support inside.
She left prison to a partner who hadn’t coped and had become someone she no longer recognised, who had not paid all the rent, and to an eviction notice, children who had needed her at home and were emotionally damaged, and severe depression caused by this situation and the weeks spent alone in a room inside. The partner fell apart, and their relationship is pretty much done, she is going to be homeless soon with two kids and several dogs, and she really feels like she has nothing to carry on for. The council may determine her as intentionally homeless as the rent wasn’t paid while she was inside, which means they won’t help her. One issue is that in most households it is the mum or the woman in the family who organises these things, and when we are sentenced to a custodial sentence, the one left behind just cannot manage. That is if there is even another adult left behind, often there isn’t. And again, there is no support.
My second friend has served longer inside. Five and a half years. Again she is a first time offender, who committed a crime through trusting a relative. No crime should be condoned, but she received an incredibly long sentence for pleading not guilty, and she truly believes and knows she is not guilty of the specific charges put to her, although she takes responsibility for committing a crime of some sort.
Another intelligent and articulate and professional women, she has taken every course going inside. She has completed above and beyond her sentence plans, the most recent of which asked her to find full time employment, build a supportive local network of friends and maintain family contact. Through a total lack of any support from the inside, or from outside probation who knew this lady through 18 months of ROTLS, she was due to leave her open prison without any accomodation. The solution? She was returned to Scotland (where she lived when her crime occurred) from the south east of England, and is now living in temporary homeless accomodation with no job, no money, no support, no friends, and is also feeling depressed and unable to cope.
Although she has sourced accomodation near her support network and full time job (both on her sentence plan which supposedly both prisoner and prison service/probation have to adhere to….), and actually gave the adddress to probation five days before leaving prison, two weeks later she is still sitting in her homeless flat, alone, with not even a television to watch. Going from over five years in the busy prison community with others around you 24/7 to offer support or to just chat to, this enforced isolation has had a hugely detrimental affect on this lady. Again, she is too intelligent and sensible to re-offend…… but many in her position would. She has had to beg the probation service for money, as she has nothing at all and her electricity and gas for her empty and lonely accomodation are on key meters. They produced £20, last thing on a Friday afternoon, which she had to walk for an hour to get; not usually a problem for most of us but this lady has a severe heart condition.
All she needs is for her new accomodation (in a Christian family home) to be approved and she can get back to her job and her support. But the powers that be are not rushing or even bothered, her job is only kept open another week and she is losing everything that she herself has gained through her own rehabilitation. She also has life saving surgery lined up in the next few weeks by a specialist in the south and has not been able to access any health care in Scotland yet, totally unacceptable.
Committing a crime needs to be, and must be, addressed by the offender, and a punishment shoud be served. But when that punishment is over should that offender’s life and their entire family, be totally destroyed and at rock bottom? If this is the case then don’t make rehabilitation a part of a prison sentence. Because what is the point if you are always on the back foot from the day you walk through the gates. No wonder the re-offending rates are so high. Luckily both of these ladies are intelligent, professional and educated women, and will never re-offend. However, they are both suffering unacceptable levels of stress, depression and deprivation in a society that has meted its punishment. Their sentences have been served, and we should all now be supporting them back into being profitable members of that society. Instead, society, and those in charge of helping these women, have left them vulnerable and at risk.
When you are sentenced, for most crimes, you spend half your sentence in prison and half on licence in the community, supported (i say this loosely) by the probation service, or actually often now by the new privately run community rehabilitation companies or CRCs! Their job, as my very own personal member of the service keeps telling me, is firstly to protect the public from us terrible, awful, scary, dangerous convicts, and secondly to prevent us reoffending….. if for any reason we cock up in any way at all we are recalled straight back to camp! However, there seems to be no requirement at all for the authorites to actually help you to achieve a trouble free time on licence in any way, shape or form!
My friend who called me at dawn today is one of so many ladies I know who are out on license and feeling totally unsupported and lost and forgotten. The punishment of prison is the loss of freedom; the loss of the control of your own life and decisions for a set period of time. Yet all of us who have been convicted of a crime (I won’t say ‘committted’ a crime, as many people are unfairly or wrongly convicted every year, in fact latest figures show 4 appeals against conviction being won every single week…. that is four people too many who have suffered in prison as an innocent) suffer far beyond the prison gates. I myself am about to be homeless. After two years struggling to keep my children stable, and succeeding, I have returned home to a total lack of any housing help whatsoever, a lack of any money or financial support (my children’s tax credits are going to take five weeks to come through), no car, no job and a probation officer who signposts, tells me I am doing all the right things and keeps reminding me not to re-offend! Well, I tell her I won’t offend, as re-offending makes the assumption of an original crime and there simply wasn’t one in my case!!
Let me tell you about just two ladies, both on license and both first time offenders who are low risk.
My friend who called me today did so for the second time in two weeks, The last occasion was at about 2am when again she was feeling unable to cope. In prison she was one of my gym buddies and one of the few people I met on the same wavelength. She went into prison for a relatively minor offence (drink driving), not to be condoned, but one that most men (or famous/rich people with a good barrister) would get a community order for. She was given a 16 month sentence, so she would have been due to serve 8 months in prison and leave after the first 4 months to be on HDC (home detention curfew or tag). This is the same sentence that the judge Constance Briscoe was given for perverting the course of justice, and she left on HDC on exactly the right day..! ( I know this as I was there!). When my unhappy friend sat her HDC board she was told she had to do a course before she could leave. As always, this was just thrown at her the week before her children expected her back home and four months after arriving in prison. Standard prison service behaviour. This course was RAPT (Rehabilitation for Addicted Prisoner’s Trust) due to alcohol being part of her crime. This is an onsite rehab for those in serious addictions. The course which uses the 12 steps, lasts from 4 to 6 months, full time, living and working and sleeping and eating with other addicts and away from the main prison population. Totally unsuitable for a one time offender without an addiction and a waste of taxpayers money. There are so many women desperately waiting to get onto this treatment and deal with their very long term addictive behaviours. So she refused and had to spend twice as long inside, away from her partner and two lovely boys.
An intelligent and assertive lady, after refusing the course, which she was entitled to do, she then spent the last four months being picked on and tripped up wherever possible by staff and was frequently put on BASIC and Cellular Confinement, stopping her from being able to talk to others and from going to the gym which was her only mental health support inside.
She left prison to a partner who hadn’t coped and had become someone she no longer recognised, who had not paid all the rent, and to an eviction notice, children who had needed her at home and were emotionally damaged, and severe depression caused by this situation and the weeks spent alone in a room inside. The partner fell apart, and their relationship is pretty much done, she is going to be homeless soon with two kids and several dogs, and she really feels like she has nothing to carry on for. The council may determine her as intentionally homeless as the rent wasn’t paid while she was inside, which means they won’t help her. One issue is that in most households it is the mum or the woman in the family who organises these things, and when we are sentenced to a custodial sentence, the one left behind just cannot manage. That is if there is even another adult left behind, often there isn’t. And again, there is no support.
My second friend has served longer inside. Five and a half years. Again she is a first time offender, who committed a crime through trusting a relative. No crime should be condoned, but she received an incredibly long sentence for pleading not guilty, and she truly believes and knows she is not guilty of the specific charges put to her, although she takes responsibility for committing a crime of some sort.
Another intelligent and articulate and professional women, she has taken every course going inside. She has completed above and beyond her sentence plans, the most recent of which asked her to find full time employment, build a supportive local network of friends and maintain family contact. Through a total lack of any support from the inside, or from outside probation who knew this lady through 18 months of ROTLS, she was due to leave her open prison without any accomodation. The solution? She was returned to Scotland (where she lived when her crime occurred) from the south east of England, and is now living in temporary homeless accomodation with no job, no money, no support, no friends, and is also feeling depressed and unable to cope.
Although she has sourced accomodation near her support network and full time job (both on her sentence plan which supposedly both prisoner and prison service/probation have to adhere to….), and actually gave the adddress to probation five days before leaving prison, two weeks later she is still sitting in her homeless flat, alone, with not even a television to watch. Going from over five years in the busy prison community with others around you 24/7 to offer support or to just chat to, this enforced isolation has had a hugely detrimental affect on this lady. Again, she is too intelligent and sensible to re-offend…… but many in her position would. She has had to beg the probation service for money, as she has nothing at all and her electricity and gas for her empty and lonely accomodation are on key meters. They produced £20, last thing on a Friday afternoon, which she had to walk for an hour to get; not usually a problem for most of us but this lady has a severe heart condition.
All she needs is for her new accomodation (in a Christian family home) to be approved and she can get back to her job and her support. But the powers that be are not rushing or even bothered, her job is only kept open another week and she is losing everything that she herself has gained through her own rehabilitation. She also has life saving surgery lined up in the next few weeks by a specialist in the south and has not been able to access any health care in Scotland yet, totally unacceptable.
Committing a crime needs to be, and must be, addressed by the offender, and a punishment shoud be served. But when that punishment is over should that offender’s life and their entire family, be totally destroyed and at rock bottom? If this is the case then don’t make rehabilitation a part of a prison sentence. Because what is the point if you are always on the back foot from the day you walk through the gates. No wonder the re-offending rates are so high. Luckily both of these ladies are intelligent, professional and educated women, and will never re-offend. However, they are both suffering unacceptable levels of stress, depression and deprivation in a society that has meted its punishment. Their sentences have been served, and we should all now be supporting them back into being profitable members of that society. Instead, society, and those in charge of helping these women, have left them vulnerable and at risk.
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