When I was a child I assumed that I too would know everything when I became an adult, as if one day a magic switch would impart me with all the knowledge and answers necessary for life as a parent....
I am still waiting......
Due to growing up in the care system, with a very mixed up, volatile and difficult childhood, I have no good parental experiences to call upon when bringing up my own children.So I make it up, guess, weigh up my options, take other people's experiences, wing it....... and make a multitude of mistakes!
But surely I am not alone? Is it my own childhood insecurities that make me judge myself; make me feel like less of a parent as I have no scale to mark myself by? Or are we all the same? Are all parents waiting for somebody else to tell them they are doing OK?
To those who introduce me as "that woman who has 8 children" or " doesn't your television work?", I have started my own family, my own family traditions and family memories, to make up for what I never had.
I hope one day my children accept that I have done the best I could and that ultimately I have loved them totally and completely, and surely that is the most important part of being a parent.
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