Monday 11 January 2016

Incarcerated; Inmates or Infants?

My 18 year old daughter is studying a BTEC in Performing Arts at college. She was recently asked to come and give her personal input to a level 4 Performing Arts group who are devising a piece around the impact on children of imprisoning parents. She is an intelligent and articulate girl, who willingly answered their questions. But I don't think this group of actors was really prepared for the reality of what she had to tell them.....

On November 2nd 2009 my house was raided. It was the above daughter's first day at a new school, aged just 11. She had lost her place at The Arts Educational School due to a corrupt head and the withdrawal of promised bursary funding (she wasn't the only pupil who had to leave due to Buster, the headmaster's, promises). Our house was raided by a van load of DWP investigators  accompanied by a minibus filled with police officers. When I answered the door, at 7.45am on a Monday morning, I was greeted with the comment "Weren't you expecting us?"

I had seven children at home that morning. One has autism, one has Aspergers/HFA, one has a sensory disorder and one has a hearing impairment and developmental dyspraxia. The youngest two were just aged four and five....... The DWP had been investigating me for six months at this point and were fully aware of the ages of my children and of their disabilities. (although refusing to believe in their diagnosed disorders at this point due to their ability to perform, preferring to believe I had a benefit claim factory going on in my home!). This raid was unnecessary, vindictively planned and downright evil.

The effect of a full-on police raid on my children is still evident today.....
My children cannot answer the door, they won't answer the phone. They won't talk to authority. They are petrified if they see a police car. They absolutely detest the DWP. They cannot trust the police, the judicial system, judges, the court process. My older daughter has such severe anxiety now  that she cannot deal with the simplest problem. A highly intelligent 24 year old who struggles to function. All caused by thoughtless DWP staff who had a political and senseless vendetta against a parent of disabled children; children with disabilities that they did not have the intelligence needed to understand!

When my 18 year old daughter talked to the level 4 drama group she explained how it felt to her. " All I could think was; have I left my dirty knickers on my bedroom floor". The raid was filmed. DWP officers are not allowed to search, that's why they brought the police along. To be honest, the police officers appeared seriously unimpressed with the whole thing. They tutted and sighed and were impatient with the DWP, who in contrast revelled in their search making bitchy comments throughout. 
"Look, she said her children won't have labels in their clothes and yet she is sewing name tags in her daughter's uniform!".
Sadly, the gormless DWP officers cannot tell the difference between a flappy label on an item of clothing (nightmare to a highly sensitive ASD child) and a fully sewn in flush name tag!! (don't forget it was my daughter's first day at a new and frightening school, and the name tags and uniform were left out from the nght before).

Before the search happened I was arrested and taken to a police station. My older daughter, then aged 18, was left to bear the responsibility of her siblings and the DWP's appalling behaviour. She followed them through the house, calming her siblings and questioning their search. The children were asked to line up and state their names. My beautiful autistic eldest son drew his fists and was calmed by his siblings. If we discuss it, to this day, he starts to rage. The night before the raid he had been really difficult (he was 15) and I had removed his laptop so that he would go to bed. As this laptop was on my bed the following morning, the DWP took it!! It had all his GCSE work on it and they refused to return it for 6 weeks. Imagine the stress for any 15 year old..... but for one who is autistic and struggling so much in life this was a deathly blow.

So, the effect on my children? I cannot even begin to quantify. For us this raid was totally unnecessary. It gained nothing for the DWP. After the raid followed nearly four years of questioning and court appearances, during which time we all fell apart.

When I was convicted my children were the ones who suffered. Despite a guilty conviction my children did not lose their issues or disabilities. And so, that same older sister had responsibility for six younger siblings, with all their issues, for two years. There is no support, the only time there was a wiff of interest from Children's Services was when they decided there may be a Child Protection issue. This was swiftly dismissed and no support was ever offered to my wonderful, amazing and different seven siblings while I was incarcerated.

It has now been eight months since I left prison. My children have anxieties and insecurities. The daughter who was due to start her new school the day we were raided became crippled by a chronic anxiety disorder. She never settled in that new school. She then became a school refuser, diagnosed with ME (which was more likely, looking back, to have been anxiety and depression) and eventually moved to another senior school which she attended sporadically. She is still affected on a daily basis. She struggles to attend college. She struggles with any unfairness. She struggles with trust. This will stay with her for the rest of her life. Watching a parent sent to prison, unfairly and vindictively, is something I guess one cannot get over.

Her nearest brother (Aspergers/HFA) had just won a full scholarship to one of the country's best private schools when I was sent down. He attended the school for two years, but with his Aspergers, no support, and no parent around, he really struggled to achieve. Instead of leaving with the expected four A* A Level results and to go to a top university, he is now doing a third year of sixth form college locally.

My eldest autistic son had been on a musical theatre degree course. I am, and have always been, his complete support network, and, as such, worked really hard to get him through his education. When I was sent away he started to fail as I was no longer there to help him 24/7, and he ended up completely failing his course. What a waste..... absolutely heart wrenching to think that a judge could think it was the right thing to send his only support to prison, leaving him now reliant on the benefit system....

My 15 year old son with hearing difficulties and various other issues was almost 13, very reliant on me, his mum, and then suddenly he had nobody. He struggles today to leave my side. He needs reassurance constantly that I am going nowhere. He had special needs all his life and the two years of forced separation caused him so much pain and distress; he is rarely more than a few feet away today.

The two babies (7 and 9 when I went away) were obviously affected by losing their mum. As a single parent I was their constant, their support, their bedtime story, their cook, their walk to school, their everything. I dropped them at school one morning and never came home.

Although I had visits in prison, these are really difficult and traumatic for children. Visits are never guaranteed; they are short and the parent cannot move from a red chair. Children cannot bring in a book or homework. The prisoner cannot take artwork back with them. 
Luckily, after 8 months inside, I was able to access the ROTL (release on temporary licence) system which meant I could visit home during my time in prison. ROTL also enabled me to go out to work, but the right wing government and Daily Mail readers are trying to stop this vital gift. (see previous blog on ROTL: http://outofsync8.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/media-manipulation-rotl-reality.html) At least while I was out I could use my phone to contact my children. But this didn't change the massive effect on my children of losing their mother.

This was my first conviction (for a crime I did not commit) and I was assessed as very low risk. There was no reason for me to be sent to prison. The judge was given reports on the vulnerability of my children but refused to believe these reports from professional psychiatrists. 

My children will never recover from the raid, the four years following when their mother was a wreck and the two years we were separated while I was in prison. 

So, this week I have been asked to watch the Level 4 performance, based around our story and the effect that imprisoning a parent has on children. This discussion will go on and on. Of course you cannot use having children as a reason not to imprison a serious offender. But, to cause children to have serious mental health issues, to cause children to be adopted, to cause whole families to break up forever, to cause the government to financially support families..... is this the right way to go? Does this mean the best use of resources? Does this mean the best way to rehabilitate? Who are the ones who are incarcerated...inmates or their infants? Who is affected the most by prison?

If you want the answers to the above....... ask my children.